A noob is a disgusting, miserable human being that can never win at anything because it cannot understand the concept of teamwork. Noobs can only be taught by being pwned.
Most noobs are obsessed with a videogame or a concept to the point where they believe they are the very best. In return for such a foolish set of beliefs, the noob forgets that he needs to play as a team to defeat the enemy team. Noobs are the reason why people ragequit games. For instance, if there was a guy down to 12% health, and another to 31%, and his ally was about to get pwned, the noob would try to kill the guy at 12%, and his ally would die. Then the noob would spray at the 12% trying to get lucky, at which point the 31%er would help the 12%er pwn the noob, making the noob's team lose for the 1302039309th time.
Teaching noobs how to be normal is difficult, therefore you must begin a serious regiment of discipline. This usually involves serious pwning and name calling. This might be difficult, but over time the noob might evolve into a newb.