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Man steals $200,000 to feed cats

April 20th, 2014

A Japanese man was indited today on an incident that took place back in December of 2013. Allegedly, this man stole over $200,000 worth of cash and jewels. What is even more bizarre is that he did not spend a penny of the money on himself.

Instead, sources tell us that this man spent all the stolen money on fresh fish and chicken for his 23 cats.  However, he was also noted to have been feeding around 100 more strayed that lived in his neighborhood.

Although the court had no ready conviction , we can all rest assured this man is the ” Robin Hood” of cats. We applaud his devotion to cats and hope that the Japanese government can grant him amnesty.



The 2014 Sochi Olympic Winter Games Come To A Close

February 23rd, 2014
sochi olympic games

sochi olympic games

We were watching the winter Olympics since the ironic beginning (the malfunctioning final ring). Today we are going to take some time to commemorate what we could, unfortunately, not cover on here due to a complete lack of time ;(
The 2014 Sochi Olympic winter games ended today with a stunning show of performance– primarily from the Russians themselves and other nations worldwide. The Russians managed to win the games , nabbing an astounding 13 gold medals, and 33 in total.
Here are the results from all the nations for the games:

Sochi Winter Olympic games medal totals

Sochi Winter Olympic games medal totals

Our own corporate office was very proud to see that Austria made it in the top 10. But we would also like to recognize the achievements of each individual medal winner from every nation. These Olympics were a proud and amazing moment for people worldwide to set aside conflict and indulge in friendly competitions.

Athletes from almost every nation in the world did an amazing job of keeping us entertained ,and never ceasing to put out their best performances.

The most credit goes to the Russians. Not only were their athletes top-notch , but they also managed to create a wonderful area for the games. Regardless of the cold rumors in regards to security and the quality of residences for reporters, nobody was complaining when the games intensified.

The Russians took their time , used it wisely and created an absolutely stunning display of human engineering and craftsmanship.


The closing ceremony was also top-notch. It really feels a bit disheartening to see such a great event come to a close, as we dis with the 2012 olympic games which we covered more extensively.

sochi stadium

sochi stadium

It broke our hearts to see the Sochi bear cry and blow out the Olympic torch. However, life goes on and we must be very thankful that these wonderful , peaceful , friendly competitions occur — and will continue to do so in the future!

Sochi bear blows out torch

Sochi bear blows out torch

Pirates steal ropes from Douala Port, Cameroon

February 2nd, 2014

On February 01, 2014 at approximately 1:40 eastern time(US) , a wooden motorboat carrying some 12 men approached a rope transport vessel. The pirates , using grappling hooks, attached their speedboat to the hull of the transport vessel.

The pirates then proceeded to board the vessel one by one using additional grappling hooks. The crew noticed and alerted a distress call to the local officials.

However, the response did not arrive on time and the pirates looted about one hundred containers full of threaded rope. The crew of the tanker locked themselves in the captain’s quarter and were apparently unharmed.

At approximately 3:30 eastern time (US), the pirates detached the speedboat from the bulk carrier and sped off. Officials did not arrive for another two hours.

A “thorough” investigation has apparently been launched to not only investigate the incident, but also why authorities reacted so late.

Rope stolen in Douala Port, Cameroon

Rope stolen in Douala Port, Cameroon

Volcanic eruption in Indonesia kills 15

February 2nd, 2014
Mount Sinabung volcano

Mount Sinabung volcano

The recent Volcanic eruption that took place this Saturday has already taken the lives of 15 people (confirmed) and many others still remain missing. Officials have stated that “the ash cloud’s heat would be nearly impossible to survive”. Rescuers wielding chainsaws and breathing barriers were only able to recover a “ringing cell phone” from an apparent victim that dropped their bag while running away from the ash cloud.

Officials are claiming some 170 people inhabited the Mount Sinabung volcano area prior to the eruption. However, of those that lived there, only about one half have been accounted for. Officials are fearing that the death toll might be very high at this point.

We will have more updates on the situation as more bodies are unearthed.

Groundhog prediction 2014

February 2nd, 2014

Looks like a few more months of winter are on their way! The famous groundhog saw his shadow, and ran back to his burrow! If you thought that this was more than enough snow to handle, you better get your shovels ready for more!

groundhog sees his shadow 2014

groundhog sees his shadow 2014

Man arrested naked in driveway with just a swimcap on

January 26th, 2014
mark mertz

mark mertz

A 44 year old schoolteacher living in Walpole, MA was arrested for allegedly going outside of his house in nothing but a swim-cap and a pair of swim goggles. Apparently, he really wanted to be “one with nature” and there was no better way but t do it when it was 11 degrees Fahrenheit outside!

On top of that, he was caught by a another guy (who apparently was not gay). This “distressed guy” decided to be a total wuss and called the cops. Soon, the cops had this fat bearded guy in chains.

As of now , Marc Mertz, is being terminated from his position as a teacher. (jeez idiot couldn’t you just go to the back-yard?)

His many classmates only had good things to say about Mr. Mertz, as did their parents. However , a criminal investigation showed that he was a “repeat offender” — uh oh.

Angolan oil tanker taken , captian beaten

January 26th, 2014

An Angolan crude oil tanker went missing on January 18th,2014. The owner of the tanker immediately notified authorities about the situation. Authorities were swift to react and began a search operation. Regardless, their efforts were futile and the ship was never found.

On January 25, 2014 the captain of the vessel made contact with the owner. Using an on-board two way communication radio, he notified the master that the ship was plundered and abandoned (with him on it).

Search and rescue found the man , apparently beaten severely over the head with a blunt object. No oil was left on the tanker and a further investigation was launched.

angolan oil tanker hijacked , man nearly killed

Angolan oil tanker hijacked , man nearly killed

We have been away for a while

January 25th, 2014

We are very sorry , life has really gotten the best of us. We barely have time to write anymore :( But anyways, we are always looking and plotting to add fresh content! Stick around, we will make a comeback soon! :)

me gusta yum yum

me gusta yum yum

Plum Island and biological warfare

November 10th, 2013

If you live in New York , you may or may not have heard of “Plum Island”. Plum Island is a 3 mile wide stretch of land located less than four miles off the coast of New York. Plum Island might seem very insignificant to anyone that lives in New York. One might ask “what’s so special about plum Island?”.

plum island

plum island

Plum Island is only three miles wide (N-S) and one mile thick (E-W). It seems very insignificant , and in fact, you probably never hear about it. What makes plum Island worth writing about?

Well, following world war II , plum Island was seized by the United States government. A large structure was constructed on the far west side of plum Island. Now , the oddest part was that nobody but high level security personnel were allowed to visit Plum Island. High level security grants were needed , and ferry boat was the only method of transportation allowed to and from the Island.

Secrecy is already a bad thing , but plum Island became more of a “high security” supermax prison-style island. What the public would not learn until very recently was that Plum Island was now the home of the infamous biological testing labs of the United States. Former scientists of the German Third Reich were drafted from biological centers in Malta ( Mediterranean).

Progress done by these German scientists included the study of diseases like foot-and-mouth disease was continued on Plum Island. These pathogen-related researches were aimed at using the foot and mouth disease to decimate soviet livestock. And , as recently declassified papers have shown, the German scientists were taken as “POWs” (prisoners of war) to continue their work on Plum Island. What would later be revealed was very nightmarish. Animals were purposely infected by a variety of diseases and observed. Although this is generally what is done with most diseases , the experiments at Plum Island were not intended to see the averse affects of foot and mouth disease. Rather, the experiments were done with the sole purpose of understanding how to manage the virus with the intent of pursuing specific strategic targets.

Foot and mouth disease

Foot and mouth disease

Foot and mouth disease is almost on par with ebola and anthrax. Foot and mouth disease or FMDV is a chronic viral infection caused by the Enterovirus. In humans , the virus causes a swelling of the tongue , fever , dry skin and vomiting. The disease does not aversely affect humans and is rarely fatal. If infected though , there is no cure for the virus. There are ways to treat the symptoms , but no known vaccine or cure exists for foot and mouth disease. International medical agencies say “preventative maintenance is the only way to reduce exposure to foot and mouth disease”. After infected , humans will experience tongue swelling , mouth blisters, hand blisters and severe pain on all skin. Dry skin will crack , puss up and begin to bleed. People don’t die often because moisturizing creams , the human immune system and time will usually defeat the virus(although death can and will occur randomly- putting this virus into a very dangerous category with the bacterial anthrax and  viral ebola).

Unlike in humans , the disease is significantly more dangerous in livestock. The same virus causes a phenomenon known as “hoof and mouth disease”,with almost 100% fatality rates in any infected animal. Any animal infected with the virus begins to blister at the mouth , the skin and genitalia. Soon , the skin begins to break , giving way to puss-filled blisters. The infected’s stomach then begins to expand , eventually bursting internally. The animal could die of other infections due to the blistering , dehydration , or the raptured stomach. In most cases, hair will fall off and the animal will be unable to swallow. Worse yet, the disease is extremely easy to transmit. The virus travels through the air , the water , or can survive outside the body for over 8 hours.

Often , this virus’s hardiness will make it impossible to contain if it does manage to escape the infected’s body. These outbreaks have happened in the past , and the results were unthinkable. If such an event were to occur today , it could be the end of all farm animals. This would lead to severe famines worldwide , although the virus is not known to be backwards compatible with humans and animals. This means that if a human catches the virus initially, the virus mutates in such a way that it will only affect humans. If the virus begins in a farm animal , it will begin and continue to only infect farm animals (although it will infect cows, pigs sheep etc for whatever reason without prejudice).



During the course of the cold war, the Enterovirus was the only thing studied on Plum Island. Secrecy was maintained indefinitely because the public would have been outraged by the proximity of the deadly virus and a populated New York. Hundreds of livestock would be brought in for experiments , none ever came out. The idea was to manipulate the virus by placing it in ticks , then dropping them over the Soviet Union (the secrecy never got out to the Soviet Union). Although this never actually took place in the Soviet Union , this “dark project” is still being denied by the government (probably to preserve a good image on an international scale). The rare few people that did see Plum Island via invitation have given detailed accounts of everything that was occurring on Plum Island.

The one thing that people began asking when word came out about these clandestine operations was “could you actually contain the pathogens you are working with?”. Nobody has ever received a response to this question , which raised concern. In 1978 , an outbreak of the Enterovirus did occur. All infected animals were then slaughtered and burned , like ebola victims in Africa, with the intent of preventing global pandemics.

People sometimes ask “if it has happened before, can it happen again?”. The answer to that is obviously yes. In 2003,  a hurricane off the coast of Plum Island caused a power outage that threatened to release a deadly vile of frozen polio and anthrax bacteria.

Earlier than that , a study of anthrax at plum Island led to the escape of one specimen from a lab. The anthrax-infected animal was killed and destroyed , but it still managed to get away which is concerning. Earlier, there are reports of outbreaks of west-Nile virus , dutch duck plague and Lyme disease.

In 2004, another outbreak of foot and mouth virus led to another purging off all specimens on Plum Island. Again , the bodies were burned and everything that came into contact with the virus was cleaned thoroughly. Scientists have discovered that the virus can be left on clothing or other utensils and survive multiple hours (up to 8) outside of a living body. This is ample time for someone to unknowingly take the virus back to the mainland and cause endemics, which can easily become pandemics. Some countries around the world stand testament to that , as outbreaks have caused massive famines resulting in the death of those that rely on the animals for nourashment.

plum island animal testing facility

plum island animal testing facility (building 257)

Currently , Plum Island  is still very secretive , barring investigative journalists from their facilities. The clandestine nature of what occurs at plum Island has led to conspiracy theories. The Island is patrolled by armed security guards. The actual laboratory (building 257) is surrounded by walls comparable to  those found at Alcatraz.

This is understandable due to the nature of what is occurring here , pathogens have a way of spreading extremely quickly. Pathogens are also very difficult to contain.

Perhaps the sketchiest part of Plum Island was the history of the establishment for belligerent purposes.

Plum Island’s final major blunder happened in Montauk , New York in 2008. A hybridized , beaked mammal washed up on shore west of Plum Island. The specimen was named the “Montauk Monster” , and Plum Island officials said it was only a badly decomposed raccoon. But this does not look like a raccoon… does it?

montauk monster

Montauk monster

The Montauk Monster has led conspiracy theorists to assume that crossbreeding of animals and genetic modification experiments are also taking place behind the walls of the Plum Island animal research/ disease center. But apparently we have to wait for more documents to be declassified to see what’s really going on. Currently , the United States government is considering selling Plum Island to a private party , but the nature of the research conducted here is not allowed to take place on the Continental North America by law.

Six sigma organizational initiative

September 22nd, 2013

What the fuck is the Six sigma organizational initiative? The six sigma approach is a type of “company/organizational” approach towards cutting costs through quality. The theory was developed in 1981 by Motorola co , and later adopted by General Electric (popularized circa 1994).

The main focus of this perspective on “cutting costs” and “increasing profits” is quality. As oppose to standard “maximum output at fair quality and cutting back on quality to save money” , six sigma focuses on cutting costs of damaged batches , or defects through identifying , analyzing and correcting whatever may be causing the initial defects in quality (be it a service or a tangible product).

Six sigma focuses on doing one process in such a way that there is no way in fuck someone can screw it up. For example , if items at a dairy farm are bing turned into another conveyor belt by humans , rather than machines , a six sigma approach to “maintaining quality” would be to keep the same people doing that same job for  a very long time. And if there was one jackoff that went out of his way to put caterpillers in the milk, he would be replaced by someone instantly. Although if it works, why the hell would you change it right?

Six sigma is designed to be a predictable approach to maintaining quality , and if you don’t have as many defective products or services being rendered , then you wont have to refund or reimburse for damages done financially , essentially cutting costs and letting your company’s SEO bathe in a tub of dollar bills. Isn’t that nice?

six sigma

six sigma

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