The Order Of the Iron Phoenix's Blog

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Is the cashier going to disappear by 2020?

May 23rd, 2013
Robots will replace workers by 2020

Robots will replace workers by 2020

It has sparked my interest , in recent days I have visited the local grocery “super-stores” and have found an increasing number of “scan it yourself” registers. These are all automated , fully functional and semi-intelligent cashiers.

It made me wonder : “if we went from signing paper to touch pin-pads, what’s next?” Rather obviously I can’t be positive that the pin-pads and smart-card readers will be ancient history compared to this new-aged concept of fully mechanized cashiers. In fact, a “Trader Joe’s” somewhere in New England (I forgot the exact location, sorry) actually has a “scan it yourself” line where all the products are scanned, put on a conveyor, then they are bagged by a machine that separates them by weight, class (eggs for example would be in the “fragile” class) and content , then are bagged accordingly.

All you really do is put all your items on the conveyor , wait a few seconds, pay, and lastly, take your bags and leave. The concept is amazingly simple, effective , and certainly will change the future of the “typical cashier”. Continue Reading…

How to make someone think you’re looking into their eyes when they speak to you

May 23rd, 2013

Lets be honest, looking into people’s eyes at times is painful. Sometimes it’s your boss that makes you clean toilets all day for minimum wage. Sometimes it’s your wife, giving you attitude and yelling at you.

Luckily, we have discovered a trick that will give whoever you have to deal with the impression that you are showing them respect. This will not require actually looking into their eyes, or even wearing fake eyeball glasses.

The trick is to just stare at the tip of the nose! Believe it or not, staring at the tip of the nose is indistinguishable to 100% of people compared to actually eyeballing them in the eyeballs.

Now you can pretend to be showing respect , and never show a hint of hatred to whoever you are in contact with!

EyeBall

EyeBall

Man benches 772 pounds -do you even lift bro?-

May 23rd, 2013
eric spoto lifting

eric spoto lifting

Here is something for the records. Eric Spoto makes you look like an absolute wimp. To you, lifting 200 pounds is an achievement. Spoto can lift 772 pounds, that’s almost half a ton!

This makes us all think of “lifting” in a whole new way. This guy could literally lift about three guys his size without breaking a sweat. And you know what? This is a world record!

This guy is truly a hero in his own unique way, but hell, one day I will beat his record :P

Filthy terrorist chops apart British soldier in broad daylight

May 22nd, 2013

Early today two Islamic radical militants, residing in the U.K. , attacked and killed a British soldier with a meat cleaver. While screaming filthy blasphemy in their native tongues, they “chopped the man like a butcher does a piece of meat”. The head was rumored to be removed as were a majority of all limbs.

The men were confronted by armed enforcement, but they precoded to chop like the mad dogs they were, so like mad dogs, they were shot but not reported to be killed. This was an “ideology led craze” say British authorities , prompted by Islamic extremism, just like the Boston Bombers.

The voracity of the attack and the extent of obvious hatred awakens us all to a grim reality : this “religion of peace” appears to be the root cause of recent attacks. Even with people that preached violence being killed  (bin laden and al zwahiri) , random radicals persist in committing acts of terror through virtue of only their religion.

This is truly unfortunate fact is that these people are terribly mistaken in their creed, they see all westerners as imperialists going about destroying their homelands. This , as Gandhi and his holiness the Dalai Lama showed us , does not justify the use of violence.

The use of a meat cleaver can only go to show that this was done with emotion. We must now ask what the compatibility of this mistaken creed is with the modern world, and if we should live every day in fear, or begin changing these people to be more compatible with our societies(education), maybe even just mass-deporting them away to their homelands if they resist.

muslims kill british soldier with meat cleaver

Muslims kill British soldier with meat cleaver

Oklahoma tornado causes severe damage

May 20th, 2013

A sever Tornado reported in Oklahoma has caused severe structural damage, destroying multiple school and shopping centers. The damage up to this point most certainly is not well documented.

Some claim that “numerous casualties have been sustained”. Although possible, these sources are heavily unreliable.

Just a few miles away from Oklahoma City, images might speak better than words. Clearly the fact that the damage is being addressed hours after the storm has passed is not a good thing.

destroyed town

destroyed town

Continue Reading…

Help me I really want to beat my wife again, but I really shouldn’t!

May 20th, 2013

I know it’s wrong, don’t blame me for being a bad sport. I beat her every time , she just doesn’t stand a chance. We play checkers every night, and I just can’t let her win!

And here you were, thinking I beat her senseless , no , no, its just checkers. Maybe I don’t even have a wife.

Slap

Slap

Female vigilante chases down kidnapper

May 17th, 2013

A mother was out for a stroll at a local park in Albuquerque, NM early today. Unfortunately, she took her eyes off her child for less than one single minute, and her child was kidnapped.

As oppose to what the average person would do, this clearly dedicated mother took things into her own hands. Thats right! She sped right after the alleged kidnapper!

The chase ended when the mother allegedly crashed her car into the kidnapper’s car. The kidnapper then took off on foot, official word does not disclose the condition of the child, or if the child was even located in the car. Perhaps the kidnapper took her with him?

Anyways, the kidnapper ran as fast as he could into the surrounding woods. Police have set up a five hundred yard perimeter, and are using every man they can spare, and many dogs as well.

The kidnapper is alleged to have conducted an earlier kidnapping of another child. Again , the condition of this child is also unknown. But yeah, vigilante almost stops kidnapper makes for great headlines! Too bad we don’t have all the information yet :/

31-year-old David Hernandez WANTED STILL AT LARGE

31-year-old David Hernandez WANTED STILL AT LARGE

Pirates thwarted off coast of Buenaventura anchorage, Colombia

May 17th, 2013

On the shored of Buenaventura anchorage, Colombia, nine individuals wearing ski masks began approaching a cotton carrying vessel. The “shore security” recognized these individuals as “obvious thieves”.

The watchguard signaled a call of distress, at which point local enforcement quickly moved in. The nine men , potentially armed, were nearly apprehended.

Unfortunately, as the coast guard stationed in that area approached, the nine Columbian pirates scrambled in their speedboat. A more thorough search of the area revealed nothing but a few crowbars.

Local authorities assume it was just a few locals looking to make a few easy dollars.

Columbian pirate boat

Columbian pirate boat

 

Togo Pirate attack on chemical transport ship results in firefight

May 17th, 2013

A merchant chemical carrier was attacked by a group of pirates only three miles off the coast of Togo. Upon identifying the approaching vessel as “potentially dangerous” , the crew of the chemical carrier raised the alarm, and began to move in “full motion”.

As the attempt to flee seemed futile , as the larger chemical carrier couldn’t exactly outmaneuver a speedboat , the local Togo “navy” or maybe coast guard (information about exact entity withheld) intervened [responding to the distress call].

A brazen firefight erupted , pinning the Togo sea protection vessel against the pirate vessel. The pirate vessel was nearly obliterated, taking crippling damage to the side lower hull and rear, although it was not scuttled.

Traces of human blood in the aftermath indicate the possibility of excessive damage caused to the pirates. As of now, nobody other than the pirates were injured. Small bullet holes and  minor rpg damage was sustained to the enforcement ship. No further damage was reported on the Chemical ship.

Togo pirate attack

Togo pirate attack

Tip for 05/16/2013

May 17th, 2013

Remember that regardless of your age, you can always look forward to something! Even if you are in your 50s, you can look forward to retirement. For the rest of us, just remember that the daily struggles of life  will be a thing of the past come tomorrow. Live your life and enjoy it!

when i grow up i will sit at the big table

when i grow up i will sit at the big table

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