Cancer VaccineFor years, a miracle solution to the complete eradication of cancer cells has been the result of wishful thinking. Today, we are pleased to announce that a prototype vaccine against cancer has entered clinical trials.This so called “Miracle Vaccine” is the result of years of research on the behavior and chemical make-up of cancer cells. The vaccine is a result of the works of prominent English scientist Joyce Taylor-Papadimitriou. Taylor , after years of research, noted that the protein Mucin-1 was located throughout the cell walls of most cells within the human body.Years after (1980-2003), Romanian scientists revealed a striking correlation between excess in Mucin-1 and cancer cells. This correlation basically meant that perhaps the gene for Mucin-1 protein was responsible in the creation of the cancer cell.Even if that was not the case, the Mucin-1 could reliably pinpoint cancer cells (mainly breast, lung and pancreas). This revolutionary research would...
Gunman's Vehicle22 year old self-proclaimed “alpha male” Eliot Rodger (son of the director of the Hunger Games) has committed a disturbing and disgraceful act today. Rodger , after posting a disturbing YouTube video vowing to take pleasure in the slaughter of those that shunned him , has killed six people and injured up to six more.Rodger allegedly stabbed three men at his home – somehow managing to kill them all. Then, Rodger went to the University Of California and gunned down two women.Rodger finished his rampage by shooting another male and ramming his black BMW into a car, injuring a family of 4 people. Upon retrieval by police, the body of Rodger was noted to have a bullet hole which obviously meant that he shot himself in his car.Rodger’s actions were claimed to be on a basis of inferiority. Rodger stated that he would slaughter those he felt were more competent than him...
Boy Kills Himself Over Spiderman12 year old Aaron Clinton was literally obsessed with Spiderman. Well, today this young boy’s obsession ended up costing him his life. Allegedly, Clinton was watching “The Amazing Spiderman 2” when he decided to (for god knows what reason) jump out of his 6th story apartment window.The boy’s mother claimed that this was the fault of Marvel(the company responsible for the Spiderman series) and has launched a law suit of 50 million dollars just four hours after the boy fell to his death.Unfortunately, it seems the child took Spiderman too far and it cost him his life.
A Japanese man was indicted today on an incident that took place back in December of 2013. Allegedly, this man stole over $200,000 worth of cash and jewels. What is even more bizarre is that this individual did not spend a penny of the money on himself.Instead, sources tell us that this man spent all the stolen money on fresh fish and chicken for his 23 cats. However, he was also noted to have been feeding around 100 more strayed that lived in his neighborhood with luxurious catfoods (all organic of course).Although the court had no ready conviction, we can all rest assured this man is the “Robin Hood" of cats. We applaud his devotion to cats and hope that the Japanese government can grant him amnesty. Kittehs
A Texas man was stabbed today during a dispute with another video gamer. After a few minutes of arguing, one man pulled a Legend of Zelda Mastersword from the ground and lunged at the first man.After thirty seconds of dodging the sword, the victim was finally impaled through the chest. The victim, a resident of the town of Katy, is now in serious condition in the local hospital.The victim stated that early this morning, this man (half naked) came running to his house with some sort of a sword he had pulled from the ground.The victim allegedly yelled at the attacker telling him “get back! , you don’t live here”. But, before the victim could move; he was impaled.The attacker is still at large.Update: The attacker was located wearing nothing but a pair of Hanes ™ tighty whities less than a mile from the scene of the crime. When confronted, the...
Sochi Olympic GamesWe were watching the winter Olympics since the ironic beginning (the malfunctioning final ring). Today we are going to take some time to commemorate what we could, unfortunately, not cover on here due to a complete lack of time ;(The 2014 Sochi Olympic winter games ended today with a stunning show of performance-- primarily from the Russians themselves [along with other nations worldwide]. The Russians managed to win the games , nabbing an astounding 13 gold medals, and 33 in total. Here are the results from all the nations for the games:Sochi Winter Olympic games medal totalsOur own corporate office was very proud to see that Austria made it in the top 10. But we would also like to recognize the achievements of each individual medal winner from every nation. These Olympics were a proud and amazing moment for people worldwide to set aside conflict and indulge in friendly...
On February 01, 2014 at approximately 1:40 eastern time(US) , a wooden motorboat carrying some 12 men approached a rope transport vessel. The pirates , using grappling hooks, attached their speedboat to the hull of the transport vessel.The pirates then proceeded to board the vessel one by one using additional grappling hooks. The crew noticed and alerted a distress call to the local officials.However, the response did not arrive on time and the pirates looted about one hundred containers full of threaded rope. The crew of the tanker locked themselves in the captain's quarter and were apparently unharmed.At approximately 3:30 eastern time (US), the pirates detached the speedboat from the bulk carrier and sped off. Officials did not arrive for another two hours.A "thorough" investigation has apparently been launched to not only investigate the incident, but also why authorities reacted so late. Rope stolen in Douala Port, Cameroon