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27 December 2012
Breaking News
The supposed "deadly" snow storm that left three people dead in the central United States has finally arrived on the eastern coast of the United States.What we can generally expect is an inch of snow ...
20 May 2013
Brand New Stuff
I was thinking about the chi ha #chiha
22 August 2012
Entertainment
After careful consideration , we have decided that BurnOn could use a second chance. We would be ashamed to see its capabilities wasted. So lets just share a few of them while we delete thousands of s...
13 May 2013
Breaking News
Police gather evidence in new Orleans shootingWe have many "reliable" sources pointing to another unexpected surge of violence; this time in New Orleans. Sources state that during a peaceful "Mother'...
29 December 2012
Breaking News
A man from a Philadelphia ghetto lays dead early today after he had been arrested for "stalking" his ex girlfriend. Upon being cuffed, he broke loose, took the arresting officer's gun, shot (him or he...

Flu Outbreak on Flight to Mecca

A United Arab Emirates plane was recently grounded due to most of the passengers and crew developing strange illnesses. Symptoms of the epidemic included vomiting, internal bleeding, seizures, high fever, and sweating. In response to this “plague”, the UAE flight 203 was grounded in New York City’ JFK international airport. The passengers were all Muslims, most on their way to the holy city of Mecca, Saudi Arabia to perform their homage. It was discovered that the influenza, with plague symptoms, probably did not originate in a foreign country. According to the FAA, the cause of the outbreak was likely domestic. One individual interviewed expressed concerns that biological pathogens, a result of terrorism, was the culprit. An interviewed passenger said, “internal bleeding is not usually part of the flu process”. These remarks were not commented on by FAA officials. As of now, there is no word on the condition of the...
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Famous Rapper “Mac Miller” Found Dead at 26

Rapper Mac Miller has been found dead at only 26 years of age --as indicated by his lawyer David Byrnes. A very young age for any star to die. According to local authorities, Miller "was discovered lethargic in his Los Angeles home”. "As of now, a dissection is pending and a reason for death has not been resolved." Through the dissection (autopsy), a likely culprit responsible for the fatality will be discovered. Speculations have risen about potential substances found in the home that may have contributed to this unfortunate event. The Los Angeles Police Office raided a home in the 11600 square of Valleycrest Street around 11:50 a.m. for a demise examination, an officer representative explained. According to second hand sources, Mill's passing was first announced to the public by tabloid media giant TMZ. The family discharged an announcement claiming Miller was a "brilliant light in this world for his...
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Aaron Hernandez Found Guilty

Aaron Hernandez Found Guilty
The former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez will be put behind bars today with no possibility of parole. The 25 year old football star has been charged with the aggravated first degree murder of amateur footballer Odin Lloyd. According to the jury, without a doubt, Hernandez acted out with great cruelty against Lloyd when executing him over an apparent drug-related incident. Hernandez’s mother and young wife were seen weeping at the jury’s conviction of Hernandez. It is unfortunate, but this means Hernandez will age and die in prison. On a side note, Hernandez’s lawyer already started making his appeal before the conviction. Although there is little doubt that any appeal will also end in futility.
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Paris Gunmen Killed

Paris Gunmen Killed
Today we have learned that two brothers who were indicated as "perpetrators" in the January 7th Paris massacre that left 11 dead have been put to justice. Justiciers , apparently, armed with sniper rifles located the two men (only indicted with the last names "Kouachi")  barred in a real-estate company several miles away from the original scene of the crime.  The men apparently took hostages and refused to surrender. Early in the morning ,however, the two men stormed out of the building for some reason and opened fire on police. Justiciers above armed with sniper rifles quickly managed to take them out and averted any additional collateral damage. A great evil was vanquished from Paris today , but two more suspects remain at large. Additionally, a great many now feel that the stability of muslim relations throughout the world have been undermined. The world must now begin the long road...
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12 Killed By Gunmen In Paris

12 Killed By Gunmen In Paris
Three individuals stormed a French newspaper facility and slaughtered innocent people inside early this morning. The attack that made global headlines again outlines the fragile imbalance between national security and domestic “home grown” terror. Three barbarians armed with semi-automatic rifles and shotguns simply stepped into this location and opened fire. Eyewitnesses noted that these barbaric and deranged individuals were uttering religious phrases as they killed unarmed men and women alike… like the nasty and worthless coward swine they are. Unsurprisingly, they were Islamic. According to investigators, the newspaper recently ridiculed some leader of an Islamic insurgency (not the prophet Mohammed as originally thought). Thus, all the individuals within this organization became the targets of the hateful and shameful act we witnessed today. French officials are both shocked and disgusted by this act of violence (as we all are). Paris, in particular, has been put under high-alert until further notice. The...
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Ebola Spreads To The United States

Ebola Spreads To The United States
Following the initial outbreak of Ebola, the first case of Ebola has been diagnosed in a patient flying from Liberia to Texas. The patient allegedly experienced some of the known symptoms of the ebola virus and contacted health officials for treatment. Although the victim did not suspect the diagnosis to be ebola, doctors have confirmed that it is, unfortunately, the first case of ebola in the United States from the past four decades. The victim has been noted to be in isolation in a hospital in Texas. Earlier this week, hospital authorities noted that the victim is in “critical condition”. However, there are some positive turns in the patient’s condition and death is not 100% certain. Hospital workers have taken severe precautions to prevent the spread of the deadly virus, however, it has been noted that the patient (who came in undiagnosed) might have infected hundreds of people [unknowingly]. A...
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Yazidi Men Slaughtered

Yazidi Men Slaughtered
A new report coming in from the “ New Iraq ” has posed some very dramatic and concerning statements. Apparently, following the seizure of land around the city of Mosul and surrounding areas, mass genocides have taken place. Although there were interventions by U.S. planes which apparently suppressed some of the insurgents, fresh reports of mass killings involving religious minorities (Yazidi) have surfaced. Apparently, Yazidi individuals are deemed “devious” and are associated with the worship of a fallen angel (satan). These people have subsequently been killed in mass executions. Regardless, the mass killings that have taken place late yesterday and early today cannot be justified. There has been no formal “call to action” by the United States or any of her allies in regards to this growing crisis. The best solution, claimed by allied commanders, is to lend indirect support and supplies. We will continue to report on this situation...
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The Ebola Outbreak Of 2014

The Ebola Outbreak Of 2014
An Ebola outbreak has descended upon humanity since early last month. The appalling rate of this viral epidemic has afflicted over 1,000 people. As of today, an estimated 3 people have died and many others are noted to be on the “verge of death”. A Minnesota man of Liberian origin was the first known victim of the Ebola outbreak. Sawyer was allegedly on a business trip to Nigeria when he was struck by the virus. Sawyer was isolated for over 24 hours by Nigerian nurses before they realized that he was, indeed, positive for the rare Ebola virus. Sawyer would later die in the hospital due to the Ebola affliction. In more recent days, the nurse that had been tasked to treat sawyer became the third victim of the Ebola outbreak. Regardless of the fact that she was diagnosed early, medical treatment failed her and she died quickly. The second...
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California Mudslide Leaves Many Stranded

California Mudslide Leaves Many Stranded
A recent mudslide on Mount Baldy,California spurred by intense thunderstorms, has left one man dead and over 2,500 other stranded. The devastation was allegedly caused by excessive rainfall which contributed to the collapse of ledges on high mountains and subsequently a large flow of wet mud. The event took place over a 16 hour period and an unknown number of people lay dead in its ruin. Only one body was found and positively identified as 48-year old Joo Hwan Lee. His body was found in a flooded creek inside of a vehicle. The devastation, unfortunately, took place in an area frequented by many people. A recent report stated that 5 people and one dog were air-lifted out of the mud and sent to a local hospital to treat their injuries. We will have more on this subject as we receive more information.
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The New Iraq

The New Iraq
Following the withdrawal of all U.N. personnel from Iraq, there have been terrible consequences. In an almost reminiscent occurrence to what took place In Vietnam, it can be clearly observed that the enemy that the United States came to fight was never defeated. In fact, much like Vietnam, they simply decided to lay below the radar until all foreign troops moved out. Starting early this month and unceasingly continuing, the country has become the forefront of yet another bloody and calculated turmoil. Those “Islamic extremists” the U.N. fought so hard to detain have finally let themselves flow like water from a destroyed dam. Worse yet, the force of these organized attackers is overwhelming local authorities in the area which were set up to keep order. In cities like Mosul, these extremists have taken over almost completely. Typically, these takeovers are followed by massacres and the destruction of landmarks. Most famously,...
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Israel continues to push into Gaza

Israel continues to push into Gaza
A swift call to end all engagements has been drawn up and slammed at Israel by the United Nations. This comes following a series of bombardments and ground invasions by Israel into Gaza. Allegedly, many of these attacks are targeting civilians rather than Hamas (some radical Islamic group) members. Israeli mediums to the U.N. have claimed that these efforts are already showing results including the destruction of Hamas missile sites. Israeli politicians are also claiming that four soldiers have been killed since the invasion began two days ago. Israeli politicians and leaders made promises earlier today to avenge the deaths of their comrades. But at what price? The U.N. would generally not interfere in a crisis unless there was already a significant incline towards a potential loss. In other words something has already happened to get the U.N’s attention. Regardless of the U.N.’s pleas for a more diplomatic mediation, Israel...
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Israel launches attack into Palestine

Israel launches attack into Palestine
In an act not seen since the last Iraq war, Israel has quite literally marched armored columns into Palestine. This action was the successor to a series of bombardments along prominent targets in the Palestine area. According to Peter Lerner, Lieutenant Colonel, the strategic bombardments took place to thwart Hamas activity and redundant rocket raids on the Israeli border. The targets noted by the defense ministry of Palestine were evacuated prior to the bombardment. As a direct result, only seven people were injured during the entire operation and zero casualties were reported. The operation nicknamed “Operation Edge” was basically a showing of teeth to any Hamas member or radical Palestinian. It basically told them that if they attack or plot to attack Israel, they will be counter-attacked. This comes only shortly after several severe attacks noted in the region by the defense ministry of Israel. No comments were directly made...
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Man killed by fireworks

Man killed by fireworks
A 44 year old man was killed late yesterday after taking a full-blown firework blast to the chest. Eyewitnesses report that the man, 44 year old Mahir Aburouman was setting up some fireworks for a 4th of July celebration. A friend that was nearby noted that this was routine and that Aburouman had done this many times in the past. However, this time the firework struck right into Abourman shortly after the fuse blew. Abourman’s friend noted that following the blast he went up to his friend and put a pillow under his head. Abourman’s friend (55 year old Ron Mohlman) stated that he kept telling Abourman to keep his eyes open. However, despite Mohlman’s valiant efforts to keep his friend alive, Abourman lost consciousness and stopped breathing. Before authorities could arrive, Abourman’s pulse was gone. Abourman’s family and friends describe him as an energetic family man that cared deeply...
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Heinous attack by crazed gunman leaves six dead

Gunman's Vehicle 22 year old self-proclaimed “alpha male” Eliot Rodger (son of the director of the Hunger Games) has committed a disturbing and disgraceful act today.  Rodger , after posting a disturbing YouTube video vowing to take pleasure in the slaughter of those that shunned him , has killed six people and injured up to six more.Rodger allegedly stabbed three men at his home – somehow managing to kill them all. Then, Rodger went to the University Of California and gunned down two women.Rodger finished his rampage by shooting another male and ramming his black BMW into a car, injuring a family of 4 people.  Upon retrieval by police, the body of Rodger was noted to have a bullet hole which obviously meant that he shot himself in his car. Rodger’s actions were claimed to be on a basis of inferiority. Rodger stated that he would slaughter those he felt...
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Man Steals $200,000 To Feed Cats

A Japanese man was indicted today on an incident that took place back in December of 2013. Allegedly, this man stole over $200,000 worth of cash and jewels. What is even more bizarre is that this individual did not spend a penny of the money on himself. Instead, sources tell us that this man spent all the stolen money on fresh fish and chicken for his 23 cats. However, he was also noted to have been feeding around 100 more strayed that lived in his neighborhood with luxurious catfoods (all organic of course). Although the court had no ready conviction, we can all rest assured this man is the “Robin Hood" of cats. We applaud his devotion to cats and hope that the Japanese government can grant him amnesty.   Kittehs
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Volcanic eruption in Indonesia kills 15

Mount Sinabung volcano The recent Volcanic eruption that took place this Saturday has already taken the lives of 15 people (confirmed) and many others still remain missing. Officials have stated that "the ash cloud's heat would be nearly impossible to survive". Rescuers wielding chainsaws and breathing barriers were only able to recover a "ringing cell phone" from an apparent victim that dropped their bag while running away from the ash cloud. Officials are claiming some 170 people inhabited the Mount Sinabung volcano area prior to the eruption. However, of those that lived there, only about one half have been accounted for. Officials are fearing that the death toll might be very high at this point. We will have more updates on the situation as more bodies are unearthed.
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Groundhog prediction 2014

Looks like a few more months of winter are on their way! The famous groundhog saw his shadow, and ran back to his burrow! If you thought that this was more than enough snow to handle, you better get your shovels ready for more! groundhog sees his shadow 2014
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Man arrested naked in driveway with just a swimcap on

mark mertz A 44 year old schoolteacher living in Walpole, MA was arrested for allegedly going outside of his house in nothing but a swim-cap and a pair of swim goggles. Apparently, he really wanted to be "one with nature" and there was no better way but t do it when it was 11 degrees Fahrenheit outside! On top of that, he was caught by a another guy (who apparently was not gay). This "distressed guy" decided to be a total wuss and called the cops. Soon, the cops had this fat bearded guy in chains. As of now , Marc Mertz, is being terminated from his position as a teacher. (jeez idiot couldn't you just go to the back-yard?) His many classmates only had good things to say about Mr. Mertz, as did their parents. However , a criminal investigation showed that he was a "repeat offender" -- uh oh.
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Barrack Obama addresses the public on his plans against Syria

bombing begins Obama has stated the following today " Good evening -- I just addressed the nation about the use of chemical weapons in Syria. Over the past two years, what began as a series of peaceful protests against the repressive regime of Bashar al-Assad has turned into a brutal civil war in Syria. Over 100,000 people have been killed. In that time, we have worked with friends and allies to provide humanitarian support for the Syrian people, to help the moderate opposition within Syria, and to shape a political settlement. But we have resisted calls for military action because we cannot resolve someone else's civil war through force. The situation profoundly changed in the early hours of August 21, when more than 1,000 Syrians -- including hundreds of children -- were killed by chemical weapons launched by the Assad government. What happened to those people -- to those children...
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People of America begin to protest Syrian approach

demonstrators against war in Syria Following congress' vow to "maintain order" in the world away , a declaration of non-restricted air bombardment  was approved. Regardless of what happened, congress never really took the public opinion into account. Much like the days of the Spanish American war, the Korean war and the war in Vietnam , the people rather than the enemy seem to be a larger "cork" to the fountain of maintaining the war effort. Just today , a few hundred gathered outside of the White house , calling for a true test of democracy (implying all of America wants no more war, and our government is not acting in our interest). The results were really quite baffling. The crowd simply marched , sang and chanted against a " war built on a lie ". Completely unopposed by police, the crowd clearly made their point heard (and that's why they...
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