News

This section is dedicated to news as well as user-created blogs.

Grumpy Cat Passes Away

Our dear friend and sensation Tarder Sauce AKA "Grumpy Cat" has passed away this morning at the age of 7. This came as a  worsening urinary ...
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Robot Hit And Killed By Self Driving Tesla

Robot Hit And Killed By Tesla Robot Hit And Killed By Tesla
In the first ever instance of roboticide, a self-driving Tesla found itself to be the culprit of a hit which landed a self-learning robot in a grave. ...
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KRCR Reporter Attacked

KRCR Reporter Attacked KRCR Reporter Attacked
The scene of a massive fentanyl overdose that sent 12 people to the hospital and left 1 dead is once again in the spotlight. According to recent repor...
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12 Hospitalized, One Dead Following Mass-Fentanyl Overdose

Fentanyl Overdose Leaves 12 Hospitalized 1 Dead Fentanyl Overdose Leaves 12 Hospitalized 1 Dead
  A recent report coming in from Chico, California indicated that a massive overdose of individuals using Fentanyl was reported. The report state...
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Kevin Spacey Found

Spacey Spotted Spacey Spotted
​ Kevin spacey, absent from the public eye for quite some time, has been spotted in Baltimore. Spacey allegedly went into hiding following numerous ac...
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Eiffel Tower Burns

Eiffel Tower Burns Eiffel Tower Burns
The Eiffel tower burns as France looms towards a dark age over recent hikes on petroleum. Chaos and disorder in what appear to be an almost apocalypti...
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Michael Cohen Sentenced To 3 Years In Prison

Cohen Sentenced Cohen Sentenced
​ Shocking News: Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump's former attorney has been slapped a sentence of 3 years in prison. Tumultuous noise surrounded...
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George H.W. Bush Dies

George H.W. Bush Dies George H.W. Bush Dies
Americans mourn today as the beloved 41 st president of the United States has been pronounced dead on arrival to the local hospital. Correspondents fr...
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Stephen Hillenburg Dies

Stephen Hillenburg Stephen Hillenburg
Stepehen Hillenburg passed away early this morning in his Anaheim, California home. Hillenburg was found unresponsive. A few of his associates attempt...
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Actor, Magician, Ricky Jay Dies

Ricky Jay Credits :RickyJay.Com Ricky Jay Credits :RickyJay.Com
An unfortunate event! Ricky Jay, the famous magician, and actor, was found unconscious this afternoon. Paramedics arrived at Ricky Jay's Los Angeles, ...
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How Did Whitey Bulger Die?

How Whitey Bulger Died How Whitey Bulger Died
Contradiction! Yesterday, the official announcements and, dare I say, rumors hinted that James Whitey Bulger, the 89-year-old infamous Boston mob boss...
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James Whitey Bulger Dead

Whitey Bulger Dead Whitey Bulger Dead
Bulger Dead In Virginia Prison  Whitey Bulger has been found dead in his prison cell early this morning. Following a brief "checkup", examiners o...
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Flu Outbreak on Flight to Mecca

A United Arab Emirates plane was recently grounded due to most of the passengers and crew developing strange illnesses. Symptoms of the epidemic included vomiting, internal bleeding, seizures, high fever, and sweating. In response to this “plague”, the UAE flight 203 was grounded in New York City’ JFK international airport. The passengers were all Muslims, most on their way to the holy city of Mecca, Saudi Arabia to perform their homage. It was discovered that the influenza, with plague symptoms, probably did not originate in a foreign country. According to the FAA, the cause of the outbreak was likely domestic. One individual interviewed expressed concerns that biological pathogens, a result of terrorism, was the culprit. An interviewed passenger said, “internal bleeding is not usually part of the flu process”. These remarks were not commented on by FAA officials. As of now, there is no word on the condition of the passengers...
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Famous Rapper “Mac Miller” Found Dead at 26

Rapper Mac Miller has been found dead at only 26 years of age --as indicated by his lawyer David Byrnes. A very young age for any star to die. According to local authorities, Miller "was discovered lethargic in his Los Angeles home”. "As of now, a dissection is pending and a reason for death has not been resolved." Through the dissection (autopsy), a likely culprit responsible for the fatality will be discovered. Speculations have risen about potential substances found in the home that may have contributed to this unfortunate event. The Los Angeles Police Office raided a home in the 11600 square of Valleycrest Street around 11:50 a.m. for a demise examination, an officer representative explained. According to second hand sources, Mill's passing was first announced to the public by tabloid media giant TMZ. The family discharged an announcement claiming Miller was a "brilliant light in this world for his family,...
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Barbara Bush Dies

Barbara Bush Dies
The end of an era. Barbara Bush passed away after a complicated series of battles with Graves disease, congestive heart failure, and chronic obstructi...
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Aaron Hernandez Found Guilty

Aaron Hernandez Found Guilty
The former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez will be put behind bars today with no possibility of parole. The 25 year old football star has been charged with the aggravated first degree murder of amateur footballer Odin Lloyd. According to the jury, without a doubt, Hernandez acted out with great cruelty against Lloyd when executing him over an apparent drug-related incident. Hernandez’s mother and young wife were seen weeping at the jury’s conviction of Hernandez. It is unfortunate, but this means Hernandez will age and die in prison. On a side note, Hernandez’s lawyer already started making his appeal before the conviction. Although there is little doubt that any appeal will also end in futility.
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Paris Gunmen Killed

Paris Gunmen Killed
Today we have learned that two brothers who were indicated as "perpetrators" in the January 7th Paris massacre that left 11 dead have been put to justice. Justiciers , apparently, armed with sniper rifles located the two men (only indicted with the last names "Kouachi")  barred in a real-estate company several miles away from the original scene of the crime.  The men apparently took hostages and refused to surrender. Early in the morning ,however, the two men stormed out of the building for some reason and opened fire on police. Justiciers above armed with sniper rifles quickly managed to take them out and averted any additional collateral damage. A great evil was vanquished from Paris today , but two more suspects remain at large. Additionally, a great many now feel that the stability of muslim relations throughout the world have been undermined. The world must now begin the long road towards...
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12 Killed By Gunmen In Paris

12 Killed By Gunmen In Paris
Three individuals stormed a French newspaper facility and slaughtered innocent people inside early this morning. The attack that made global headlines again outlines the fragile imbalance between national security and domestic “home grown” terror. Three barbarians armed with semi-automatic rifles and shotguns simply stepped into this location and opened fire. Eyewitnesses noted that these barbaric and deranged individuals were uttering religious phrases as they killed unarmed men and women alike… like the nasty and worthless coward swine they are. Unsurprisingly, they were Islamic. According to investigators, the newspaper recently ridiculed some leader of an Islamic insurgency (not the prophet Mohammed as originally thought). Thus, all the individuals within this organization became the targets of the hateful and shameful act we witnessed today. French officials are both shocked and disgusted by this act of violence (as we all are). Paris, in particular, has been put under high-alert until further notice. The individuals...
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Ebola Spreads To The United States

Ebola Spreads To The United States
Following the initial outbreak of Ebola, the first case of Ebola has been diagnosed in a patient flying from Liberia to Texas. The patient allegedly experienced some of the known symptoms of the ebola virus and contacted health officials for treatment. Although the victim did not suspect the diagnosis to be ebola, doctors have confirmed that it is, unfortunately, the first case of ebola in the United States from the past four decades. The victim has been noted to be in isolation in a hospital in Texas. Earlier this week, hospital authorities noted that the victim is in “critical condition”. However, there are some positive turns in the patient’s condition and death is not 100% certain. Hospital workers have taken severe precautions to prevent the spread of the deadly virus, however, it has been noted that the patient (who came in undiagnosed) might have infected hundreds of people [unknowingly]. A similar...
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Yazidi Men Slaughtered

Yazidi Men Slaughtered
A new report coming in from the “ New Iraq ” has posed some very dramatic and concerning statements. Apparently, following the seizure of land around the city of Mosul and surrounding areas, mass genocides have taken place. Although there were interventions by U.S. planes which apparently suppressed some of the insurgents, fresh reports of mass killings involving religious minorities (Yazidi) have surfaced. Apparently, Yazidi individuals are deemed “devious” and are associated with the worship of a fallen angel (satan). These people have subsequently been killed in mass executions. Regardless, the mass killings that have taken place late yesterday and early today cannot be justified. There has been no formal “call to action” by the United States or any of her allies in regards to this growing crisis. The best solution, claimed by allied commanders, is to lend indirect support and supplies. We will continue to report on this situation as...
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