News

This section is dedicated to news as well as user-created blogs.

Actor and showhost Gary Collins has died

At the ripe age of 74, Gary Collins has died , alone in Mississippi. He will be missed amongst his fans, he could be remembered as "a cheery guy that would always make us smile", but not anymore, for now we must mourn his loss. Gary Collins did a ton of show-hosting in Hollywood as a younger man, this eventually led to his rise in popularity as a star in the move "Airport" -perhaps his best role-. Gary Collins will be missed by all , rest in eternal peace April 30, 1938-October 13, 2012. Gary Collins  
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Cleveland bus driver punches woman in the face

We are sort of delayed in informing you on this now "aged" story , but nevertheless, if you visit us often you should know that a male bus driver from Cleveland punched a woman in the face. What appears to have sparked the striking conflicts were various  cruel, indecent and shocking remarks made by the woman, directed at the bus driver. She then preceded to spit on him, at which point he could take no more, he stood up, and gave her one heck of an uppercut. The threats started with verbal cussing, and evolved into threats of violence, at which point the driver told the 25 year old youth he would bring his daughter to fight the passenger (we don't understand why). The passenger responded by telling him to bring his mammy. The bus driver got enraged, stopped the bus, and knocked the woman out. Well done indeed. Thats what...
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Colorado police find body of missing 10 year old in corn field

A ten year old girl, now missing for over 10 days, has probably been found about two miles from her home, dead. The girl left her home, walking to school a few days ago. She subsequently went missing that same day, and her parents, with the aid of police and cadaver dogs, have been frantically searching for her. Unfortunately, early today, the cadaver dogs picked up her scent. The men then found what appears to be a 10 year old girl's lifeless body in a cornfield , on the path the girl would have taken to get to school. The police have confirmed it to be her, and they do not suspect the parents to have any involvement in the matter. Police believe the girl was abducted, tortured and dumped. We will keep notifying you as the story progresses. Girl found dead  
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Florida man dies after eating insects

Edward Archbold, a prominent insect eater in the area, entered two contests this weekend. The first was a cockroach and acorn weevil  eating contest. The second was a maggot eating contest. Edward placed first in both, and ended up getting the prize: a ball python. Later that night, he fell to his knees and died. The case is under inspection, but maybe the cockroaches were poisonous, or maybe  the acorn weevil larvae were poisoned. We will keep you updated with more information on this matter as it progresses.   Here he is after he won the contest  
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Man loses testicle after impact

Paul Wood, a star in the game of rugby, lost a testicle today, following a serious collision with a fellow player. The ballsack , accordingly ripped open, causing the testicles to spew out. One was left dangling on a fine ligament, while the other twisted. Wood lost consciousness. Following the incident Wood woke up in a hospital. Unfortunately, the doctors had to  amputate his testicle, due to various complications. But, he cheerfully rubbed it off like a man (ow) and is expected to play rugby again within the next couple of weeks. Poor man. Man lost his tennisball here    
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South Korea extends ICBM range, with US approval

South Korea has amped up it's missile systems in the past month. The reason? They simply want to threaten North Korea, thinking this will deter them from attacking ever again. Following the missile tragedies of last year, where both Koreas almost went to war again, both sides have amped up defenses across the border. And North Korea is turning to china for weapons, while south Korea is turning to the USA. Sounds like another cold war brewing :? South Korean Missiles Pretty -Courtesy of CNN-        
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Naked wrestler shot dead by police officer

This morning , at about 1:23a.m. central time, a once great wrestler was shot and killed by a police officer. According to facts, the wrestler was unarmed, but bulky, and continuously kept charging at the officer, who is confirmed to have had a bottle of pepper spray and a stun gun. Instead of using a stun gun(tazer) or his pepperspray, the officer took out his colt 1911 and shot the wrestler in the chest. Perhaps the wrestler was doing bathsalts  and wanted a taste of  the police officer's face? We may never know. The officer is on administrative (paid) leave , and a full investigation will be conducted on the incident. We will keep you updated on this juicy story. The Murder Weapon
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Israel downs unmanned drone

Military personnel yesterday, near the Nagev dessert in northern Israel downed an unmanned drone. The source of the unmanned drone lays unknown, the wreck has been scavenged, nothing has been found yet. The incident occurred under direct orders of the minister of defense, claiming it was an "Iranian spy plane UFO" . Might as well call it aliens, we guess. Please note, Israel bluffed when they gave America until sept 21, 2012 to threaten Iran , hopefully war will never happen. By bluffed we mean they did not launch a preemptive strike, thank goodness. We don't want a nuclear war!     Unknown Unmanned Drone Downed  
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Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Video

Accordingly, a full on (home made) porno featuring icon wrestler Hulk Hogan appeared on the internet recently. Accordingly, it was uploaded to a website called "Gawker". Hulk Hogan Porn   Furthermore, the tape is confirmed to feature the icon, and it is still live. If you want to view it, if you are that sick, do so before the end of today, at which point it will be gone forever, or so we believe. Hulk remains silent on the matter, but his lawyers are working fast and hard to get rid of the video. So again , this is your chance to view it! We condone acting as a tabloid, but you must be informed!  
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46 Vehicle Car Crash In Florida

  46 Vehicle car crash At 3:00 today, a ton of cars, going down the popular Interstate 75 ended up colliding with each other. Accordingly, this was brought on by a thunderstorm, a very evil thunderstorm, we would say. 3 people were evacuated in critical condition, some say they are expected to die. All the others really lost their cars. It's sad how much carnage can come from one little thunderstorm. 26 others were taken to the hospital with non life threatening injuries. Many cars died today. Horrible accident many left injured    
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Syria sinking into anarchy

Following the incident this past weekend, where Syrian artillery was aimed at a Turkish border town, known to be harboring fugitive rebels, Turkey responded with artillery strikes of their own. Now it seems imminent, the two countries will likely go to war, but we don't care, as long as the BS NATO thing where one country being attacked makes all of NATO responsible to come and defend doesn't come into effect. A showdown of two backwards countries, going head to head, this should be interesting. Turks amass on Syrian Border   But furthermore, we have  reports of Syrian rebels taking hostages from across the world, and threatening to execute them unless they give back rebel prisoners ( sounds like the hijacking of the Lufthansa back n the 1960's by Syrian al queda members ). The irony of the situation is, if the rebels do take the country, they will run it....
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Chinese ferries crash on national Chinese day, killing 39

Another day, another accident. We are finally getting word that on October 2, 2012, two ferries, carrying ecstatic passengers, on the national day of Chinese unification crashed into each other. Apparently, something went awry with the amount of fireworks , temporarily blinding people steering the ferries, causing them to collide. The people on board described the crash as " a sudden rocking motion, almost as if we hit land". Unfortunately, they were far from land. Both ferries began sinking, about 130 people were extracted (thankfully) , but 39 have been confirmed dead, and a ton more are feared missing. Amidst the chaos, we wish them luck. Chinese Ferry Collision  
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Jason Russell speaks for the first time since jacking off

Following his jacking off incident, and vandalizing of cars , Jason Russell had a "sit down talk" with Oprah today.  He claimed he was out of his mind, and that what we saw and heard was not him, and that he drank too much (clearly), and that fapping in public was wrong etc etc. Trying to clean up his image, and getting momentum that will never be his again flowing again. We still see he has some of that demonic charisma in his speeches, but we have no credibility , or anything for his organization anymore. Opera And Jason Russell Furthermore, we are proud to announce that Kony, much like Jason Russell has  been caught, not in Africa, but San Diego, CA, also jacking off. High off bathsalts. Check it out:      
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The Pirate Bay is back online

Promising you to follow up on the recent pirate bay blackout , we are proud to announce that the Pirate Bay is back online ! Yes, to all of you that have been crying for the past couple of days, your beloved pirating website is back, hopefully they learned from their mistakes and have implemented backup generators. The company has been under scrutiny since the implementation of SOPA and PIPA, both having been rejected. The Swedish based company is expected to keep running it's operation as usual from today on.      
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The Pirate Bay has been downed?

Do you remember when the pirate bay intended to move it's servers over the Atlantic in unmanned drones ?  Well, unfortunately, that idea might have saved the billion dollar , illegal website. We certainly don't oppose the pirate bay in any way, but we do firmly believe that they should at least make small donations to the people that are loosing potential customers, having worked on  so hard to create all that they have. But, regardless of what we think, The Pirate Bay, has been downed for two days now, they claim it to be "a simple power outage". Which of course, is ridiculous for a multi billion dollar website not to have backup generators, or anything for that matter. This comes after a crackdown on the website by multiple secret services, we are unsure to what extent they are involved in this, but once again, we are neutral on the...
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Wisconsin noob dies

Accordingly, a man that lived in Wisconsin just came back from active service duty in Afghanistan. He was shot by an enemy sniper, with some sort of unknown round, the round did not penetrate, and the man was saved by his Kevlar vest. As a type of trophy, the man took the bullet home with him, and early this morning, he was flaunting it to all his friends, accordingly, telling them he "dodged death" All of a sudden, eye witness reports claim the bullet exploded from the rear, and entered the man's lower abdomen. He was later pronounced dead. Police claim the bullet that was fired did not fully discharge  after it was fired on the man. The bullet discharged partially when it was fired (and again when he came home), and thus, this poor man died, having dodged death once. Bullet
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A new doomsday virus discovered

A new virus may have leaked over from Saudi Arabia. Accordingly, a man from Qatar was visiting mecca, and received the virus from a local man that later died.  The man currently infected is probably going to die. The virus mimics SARS , which has a 10% fatality rate , and no known treatment to this date. The good thing is, this virus takes time to spread, therefore we probably have more time to study it before more people get infected and die. Much like SARS, it causes your lungs to shrivel, and kidney failure. So, the patient coughs up blood and dies of kidney failure over time. If the man does die, this virus would have a 100% fatality level, workers in the UK say they will work hard to try to understand the virus, but at this time there is no treatment or antidote available, so be very careful...
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Confusing friendly fire fight causes death toll in afghanistan to reach 2000

So there was an accidental conflict in Afghanistan this weekend, the results are unfortunate. 2 marines and 2 men of the afghan allied coalition are left dead. This statistically raises the death toll in Afghanistan alone to over 2000 since 2001. Thats almost 200 men lost there alone per year. Accordingly, it was accidental, and NATO reaffirms strong connections with the country, regardless of one mistake. In such a light, we must link it to how during the Vietnam war, planes would accidentally bomb their own troops, why? Lack of communication. We for one are sorry to hear about this, but some things are irreversible.  
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Kenyan navy shells Somali port, seeking to exterminate terrorists

Unless you have no idea what happened to Somalia in the past 50 years, you should know that it is controlled by an Islamic extremist group called "Al Shabaab" . These people support al queda, and are linked to numerous terrorist attacks in north and east Africa. Regardless, Kenyan troops , along with the aid of a few brave Somali homeland army soldiers  planned to kick the terrorist group out of the city port of Kismayu. Intelligence gathered indicated that the  Al Shabaab members planned to ambush and kill the men as they entered the city. Radio signals and captured POWS confirmed that the city would be used to stall the men and inflict maximum casualties. To avoid such things, the Kenyan air force and navy leveled the city.  Accordingly, killing 2 children. No Al Shabaab members are confirmed to have died, nor is the city capable of harboring anything in it's...
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Man shoots his own son, thinking he is a robber

We just got word that a connect school teacher mistakenly shot his own son, thinking he was robbing his sister's house. The incident happened as follows: * At around 12:45 the youth (15) mounted a ski mask, and dressed in all black * 12:55 , he began trying to pry a window in his own aunt's house open *12:58 Aunt notices, and contacts her brother (the robber's own father, ironically) *1:00 The brother of the the woman being invaded shoots and kills the armed robber *1:08 After taking the mask off, the father notices it's his own son. Now why such a thing happened is hard to say, your guess is as good as ours. Here is a video, strait from CNN  
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