By IronCrossCthulhu on Saturday, 02 March 2013
Category: Breaking News

Man eaten by sinkhole

om nom nom man eaten by sinkhole


Today, a Florida man entered his house for the last time. Jeff Bush , a middle aged man was, according to his brother "simply swallowed by the planet".

What appears to be mother nature taking a bite at humanity is truly mournful. Police cannot even confirm the exact location of this man's body. They can't even begin to estimate how deep he has fallen into the earth, and how much more he has to go until he gets "suspended in sediment".

Regardless, search teams and excavators will continue to survey and move the sinkhole's superciliously harmless top. We can't imagine how horrible it must be to be eaten by a sinkhole, slowly crushed into submission under the sheer weight of thousands of tons of earth.

God keep this poor man safe.

Perhaps he might actually be lucky, in a sick way, he might become fossilized, them millions of years later whatever populated the earth will know that a human was eaten by a sinkhole in 2013, probably.

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