One Billion Cicadas To Attack The East Coast

For years and year, they have lain in the ground, dreaming. Since the dawn of time, they have slowly progressed ; from worms to worms with legs , to full grown and functioning animals.

Today, it is my pleasure to announce that the eastern coast of the continental United States Of America will be attacked by a swarm of the most demonic bug known to man kind: the cicada!

These are indeed the annoying bugs that wont stfu during the summer with their repetitive buzzing. And for years now, they have been gathering their forces deep underground, waiting for that "perfect moment" to pounce on humanity.

And soon, these legions of sleeping cicadas will be storming into our backyards, in the BILLIONS! And truly, that's no joke or exaggeration.

The fact that they have been training underground for 17 years to destroy our planet sounds sci-fi , but rest assured, this is all real, and you will soon feel the affects of their brutal onslaught.

These hell-spawn will commence their attack May 10th, and will be everywhere for a solid month, breeding. The sounds they will make will burst eardrums, and people may go mad from this annoying noise.

After the cicadas breed, they will all die all of a sudden, leaving eggs and bodies all over the ground. These spawns of "god knows what" will then be unknown to man until 2030, when the cycle shall repeat itself once again.

Brood II Cicada