Why does the American school system suck so bad?

murica fvck yeah!


You know what has always puzzled us? We have always wondered "why is it that the American school system is so far behind that of Europe?". Well, after about one year of reading journals published by prominent economists, and leaders of coalitions for education , we have an answer.

This answer is not very easy to understand unless you understand how America shifted it's political ideology following the war in Vietnam.

Well, in order to completely get rid of any sort of feeling of school being government controlled (as was the case in Europe and the soviet union -our arch enemy?-) , we privatized sectors , most schools these days, although federally funded, are privately owned.

Now this sounds radical, we know, but we will explain why this is, and how it is hurting this country. Furthermore, and quite off topic, who the f@#% can reverse this?


 

---> Imagine this:

oh yeah, coffee cup!


Ok , so lets imagine this for a second, shall we? You open up your own mother f%^&*ing coffee place in the middle of let's say... Boston, yes that's right, Boston. Okay, so you you opened up a coffee shop in the center of one of this country's wealthiest towns.

You are running pretty well, everyone loves coffee, you begin raking in the dough, you are getting wealthy, good for you :)

You begin to expand your store, eventually you have a nice looking, aesthetic coffee place, but now you have to hire workers, right? So due to laws like affirmative action clauses and other such things, you hire a diverse selection of people, old , young, different colors, different learning abilities etc. You are doing really well, and your shop is doing great, you aren't getting any beef from the government because you are doing everything properly.

So let's say one day your cashier, Rick , a guy that has tattoos on his eyeballs, and noserings on his noserings gets into an argument with some prissy business type , lets just say that Rick can't pull himself together in time, and Rick knocks this old prick out, because he called him an ink bull , or something like that.

What will you do? Will you keep Rick? Will you take Rick's side? Will you keep Rick, who was probably correct in his course of action morally, if he is losing you money? Will you favor "the right thing" over a "paying customer"?

You might be telling yourself "yes, I would stick with Rick" , but if you were actually the owner, you wouldn't want to taint your reputation and drag your customers out, the only proper thing to do is give Rick a permanent vacation, yes can him.

So what's the problem, you can replace him tomorrow, right? Of course you can!  But you know what? Reanalyze the part where the business type started the fight. You won't ban him from your shop, in fact you will welcome him back every f%^&ing day, with open arms and a smile. You will apologize like the coward you don't think you are, and allow this snake to sip on your produce, and you know why? Because you are making money off of him!

Now, you might be all like "well, it's just a coffee shop, what does this have to do with anything, at all?

----> Let us move forward

Imagine the same scenario, but now imagine Rick as the subject "math". And the businessman  is a child, going to a school. You are still the owner, but now you run a school , yes a school not funded by the government, but privately owned by you. You are still being payed by the government, and for every child you have , you get more money.

So what would you do if this one child was failing math? Or what if the child got into a fight with one of your staff? What if this "customer" was unhappy, what if all of your customers were unhappy with learning math parse.

Well, you would do what we already do, you would lower the level of difficulty to such an unperceived low that these customers will all be staying and paying. Now who the f#$% gives a sh#t if they come out with no knowledge of anything , right?

I mean you issued them a diploma, and you got paid, who cares if it is "morally wrong" to let people with such lack of basic fundamentals go out in the real world? Who cares about them, all you need to care about is the numbers that are stacking up, you greedy greedy little b#s#a#d :)

And what does the government do to stop you? Impose a test focused only on elementary mathematics and the English language? Well guess what, you will have the children only be taught the test, boy/son/man/sir. You know why? Because as long as the kid passes the test, you still get paid :)

Do you see why everyone in this country seems so much less educated than people in Europe now? You people are not stupid, hell most of you are probably super smart for reading this analysis -you are seeking external knowledge to educate yourself-.

How does this affect us?

Well think about it this way, as a predetorial chain maybe. If we were better educated, we would get higher paying jobs, if we had higher paying jobs we would make more money, if we made more money we would pay more for taxes, if we paid more for taxes this country would be richer, if this country was richer we would be able to pay off most of our debt, if we paid off our debt we wouldn't rely on external powers for financial aid, if that was the case, America would be the best country in the world.

income food chain


And yes, as illustrated above, the excess tax money will trickle back down on you. This means better hospitals, better roads, power lines, public transportation, pollution control, national parks, and so much more.

Just imagine, if the average income for every American was 80,000$ instead of the 30,000 it is now, this country would be unstoppable.

Why won't this ideal scenario ever happen? Because ,much like your coffee shop , if you beat the children up , like you should have beaten the businessman up a bit more, they will no longer give you their money, since they have been spoiled at home not to endure pain. We do not mean abuse mind you, we mean European style discipline that eradicates laziness , so that children will be able to understand these tougher subjects.

I mean come on, If I told you "do your homework, or I will beat your ass until you cant sit without crying", and I meant it, you would do your homework wouldn't you? Through sheer intimidation; you bet your ass you would!.

In today's schools, if a professor lays a hand on someone's filthy offspring, it means jailtime. But come on, think about the coffee shop incident, do you think the businessman will ever pick a fight like that if you stood by Rick? I don't think so.

Put it all together people, education is still the most important thing in the world. Without it , we would be motherf$%^ing cavemen. But really, quality control needs to be resurrected, I would call this  generation of "nominal educated people". Although they can read and write, and they can do basic mathematics, they cant give you one good reason why they had to learn all of this bull$hit.

Maybe education should also be more focused on certain fields for certain people, you know , maybe get them an early start on life. Like what the hell would a painter need to learn bio chemistry for?