Im a fat bald guy

"Thats right gentlemen, I'm a fat bald guy. I'm like 40 years old, and I live in my parent's basement, alone.

Every couple of months I come out to see the light.

My eyeballs burn when I look at the light too directly.

Then I get in my car to go down to the store to buy something.

I hate it so much when my GPS makes me go through the ghetto.

Sometimes I think technology is the reason why god doesn't talk to us anymore.

When I get home with all the tonnage of snacks I had wasted all of my money on, it really pisses me off how I can't hear the television while I chew.

What pisses me off even more is how my ps3 cant be turned on from a distance.

Its very painful when I have to switch the cables on the television.

God I hate how I cant use my laptop on the couch -someone should really invent a levitating government-.

I hate how the government is still acting like aliens don't exist.

I hate it when the remote control gets stuck in between the couch cushions. I hate it even more when I have to get off the couch to pick it up.

I hate waking up so I don't wake up.

I taught myself how to eat lying down. Now I will be the envy of all of my on-line friends, if only they could see me now.

I hate thinking about anything so I just lie down and look at the ceiling.

I love sharkweek."

-A haiku from a fat bald guy