why the f#$@ did you bring this sh#$ to the post officeOf all the things , your local post office probably seems like a very nice and peaceful place. You would be dead wrong. In fact, all post offices (not fed ex) are government owned property. This means that government laws would always be effective, regardless of local/state/regional regulations.As an example, lets say you have a condition that allows you to smoke medical marijuana. Sure, you can smoke it at your place, the local bar, even inside the local police station! -pretty cool right brah?- Well, then imagine having to have a letter certified at your local post office. And all of a sudden you take out your bong and have a puff. And bam! You go to federal prison for a VERY long time. And do you know why?The reason for this is that post offices are all owned by...

A Chinaman and longtime (ancestral) doctor is being forced today to destroy his personal building/villa mountain thing. (see the picture to believe it). You see, this rich tycoon, and former politician , thought it would be a great idea to add some rocks, trees and whatever he well pleased on top of his standard apartment building.Now, we all know that even in China such things are illegal. However, people often failed to report the issue to local authorities, mainly because they lived in this building and were paying rent. A few people, however, complained about it --especially the loud parties-- to local authorities.Authorities seized the chance to show the public (backed by the media) that china was not corrupt, and proper action would be taken,Chinese authorities gave the building's owner 15 days to level the building , or present evidence of a building permit. If these demands are not met, the...

Simmons Mugshot -- punctured butthole over cheezburgerEarly today , one man received a punctured butthole, and one woman went to prison. You see, these  two people Rebbecca Simmons, 45 and Mohammad Abukhder, 35 were at a drive-through at a local McDonalds.Naturally , Simmons (needing that g******* burger) decided to cut in line at the drive-through. When Mohammad Abukhder didn't allow this to happen , Simmons got out of her car and scratched Abukhder's car. Mohammad Abukhder responded by taking her key and calling the police.Just shortly later, Simmons took out a knife, Mohammad got out of his car, bent over, brandished his a$$hole and next thing you know, he had a knife deeply inserted inside of his rectum. Although he thoroughly enjoyed this sex act (what the f%^*?) , police ended this little joy party, sending Mohammad to the hospital for anal surgery and Simmons to jail for assault with a deadly weapon.This is...

A Pennsylvanian man accordingly beat his wife with a frozen package of ground beef. Police indicate that William Neugebauer, 51 was having a dispute with his wife. One thing led to another, and William grabbed a package of frozen beef and began pounding his wife with his meat.Officials arrived just moments later to find William Neugebauer's wife swollen. William Neugebauer was tracked down , found drunk and naked and beaten. He was then placed under arrest and was set on 150,000$ bail. William Neugebauer is charged with assault, public drunkenness, public nudity and disorderly conduct. woman beaten with ground beef

Royal Couple has baby boyToday is a very momentous day, the son of Prince William and his Wife, Kate Middleton was born! The boy weighed eight pounds and six ounces. A pamphlet confirming the gender, weight, height and other details (other than the name) has been posted outside of Buckingham Palace.This is a momentous day for all of us , even if we are not the type of outlet that's into famous people, royals are a different story. We wish the child a healthy , long and powerful life. May god and Mother England be good to the new prince.We will try to tell you what the name of the prince will be as soon as it is released.

VOLCANO POWER!Trash has always been an issue within our developing world. Trash tends to accumulate rather fast, faster than we can manage to destroy it (it would appear). So, a few days ago a friend of mine brought up the idea of how anything that hits molten volcanic magma is instantly vaporized (chemically altered in sulfur combustion) , including plastics. Anything that isn't completely destroyed chemically would end up becoming rock after it re-hardened (anything in a dump will likely at least melt).Scientifically, yes, this would be a wonderful and possibly the only solution to our problem (other than sending it all into space). Chemically, even radioactive supplies could possibly become harmless sulfurous compounds in seconds.Regardless of how brilliant the idea sounds, it is probably impractical to melt our garbage in anything other than the magma pool in the actual volcano since moten magma is basically as dense as rocks (our...

In something hauntingly weird, unmanned drones used to spy on people as they have sex and do other dirty work have become "targets" with cash rewards in various counties throughout the country. Hunters have had enough, they don't want some CIA guy jacking off at his desk while spying on a guy doing his wife. No , no that is just getting too personal.A town in lower Colorado began the trend of paying hunters for every confirmed spy-drone kill. This of-course seems fair -- who wants to be spied on 24/7 right? Killing the drones is pretty easy too , since they do use helicopter-like still motion hovering (you know so the guy with the remote can get really close and personal).Anyways, obviously shooting at drones in the middle of the city is sort of dangerous. I mean, the debris from the fallen drone could injure someone, worse yet a fire...

Science is darker than you thinkScience is a great thing, for the most part. We have built huge structures through scientific breakthroughs (we are also pretty decent at destroying them), we have nearly made child labor risk free, and most of our children live past the first month of their birthing.However as great as science is, it has come to our attention that there is a very clandestine struggle happening between the use of science to procreate cures (help civilization) , and the use of science for personal gain.You see, in our world today , we are left in the relative "dark" whenever a scientist discovers something. As an example, if someone was to discover that eating eucalyptus cured brain hemorrhages (and it by no means does) , how would that information get away from the said scientist or his employer?The fact of the matter is, perhaps performing an actual hemorrhage...

One of our grandest fears is the fear of falling. We all usually have a thirst for the thrill of falling, thats why we have amusement park rides that mimic this action, but few of us would take the risk of actually walking 1400 feet across a huge ditch-- let alone with no harness or safety net. nik wallenda defies deathWell, Nik Wallenda did just that, and on public television too. This man walked across the grand canyon with no harness, no safety net, and just a film crew on both sides. This is an absolute first in history, and we should be happy a bit of turbulence did not spell doom for him.In the past, a handful of daredevils have crossed the grand canyon or jumped it on motorcycles, and other handful died attempting to do this.Anyways, this is cheery and we are happy to see his success!

an argon beam scalpelUsing the conventional scalpel might be a thing of the past. A team of scientists in Washington DC has begun tests of using plasma beams to cut apart humans on the operating tables.In essence, this would create an environment that is virtually blood-free, and surgeons would be able to be more precise when cutting a patient. This group of scientist claim that the plasma is not only more sanitary and antibacterial, but it is way more precise due to it's thin length (eliminating unnecessary collateral damage to surrounding tissues).Quite literally, men have used heat to mend wounds for a very long time in hopes of preventing infection. Heat also relaxes tissue (that is not incinerated) around the area of affliction , causing little to no complications.Ironically, this would literally be (and we quote the doctors) "a lightsaber" in that it cuts with a controlled jet of argon or...

Google glass is an idea drafted by google for mass production circa 2014 A.D. These are glasses that you strap around your eyeballs and do tasks similar as you would on your lovely little iphone. The difference is mainly that it is all voice operated and the glasses start at 1500$ a pair. We can already imagine how cool you would be if you had a pair, people would totally think you were "uncool" unless you have your google glasses lol. you aint cool unless you have theseAnyways the google glasses will be running a fully voice operated version of android designed specifically for them. You will have a screen you could possibly look at above and below your field of vision. Unlike the more futuristic idea of internet glasses controlled by your brain, google glasses wont help you cheat on your exams , sorry , unless you put all the...

We know this sounds a bit strange but we recently uncovered what appears to be damning evidence of people wanting to stop the existence of virtual reality. Virtual reality is still in it's infancy and usually relies heavily on the use of three separate projectors to create three dimensional images, kind of like our own experience with creating three dimensional movies from flat shapes using a z axis. Virtual RealityGoing forward, this is going to sound a bit out of whack, but rest assured it seems to be a pattern. Gunpei Yokoi , creator of the gameboy color , gameboy pocket, and crosspad was on the verge of finishing up his virtual reality studies. He created something called the virtual boy , which in essence was the first attempt at three dimensional emulation. Although a bitter failure on the market, the concept was to be worked upon by Yokoi and his team.A...

When you think of the most terrible thing that has ever roamed planet earth, T-rex probably comes to mind. Today we are going to explain about something that ate t-rex for breakfast, something so massive that it could possibly be comparable in size to the largest things man has ever built (aircraft carriers). We are talking about Liopleurodon. Liopleurodon -SWAG-Liopleurodon was literally something of your nightmares. It was a crocodile type dinosaur hybrid with gills and lungs which could pretty much live in fresh or salt water. The jaws of this massive beasts alone are the size of a T-Rex. Then it comes as no surprise that as smaller dinosaurs, or any dinosaur would be taking a drink, Liopleurodon would be waiting, and unfortunately, there was nowhere to run from these 8 yard long jaws. The teeth alone could probably skewer an elephant on each individual tooth. For f***s sake! that...

We are writing this from a distant location , yes it's another mobile post :) Here is an image of a Darth Vader riding a flying cat. We thought it was amazing. Darth Vader rides cat

xbox oneSuch a bullshit! - These are the words of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of very disappointed xbox fan-boys amidst the cruel announcement by Microsoft at E3 today. Microsoft's new invention "the xbox one"  was announced two months after sony announced their plans for a "playstation 4".Millions of fanboys are more eager about this "xbox one" thing over the ps4. Through this craze, people don't exactly know what either the ps4 or xbox one will look like, but they want their hands on these "futuristic" gaming consoles.However, and to our own dismay, the 499$ pricetag seems like total bullshit. Naturally the system is probably not that great, only an upgraded graphic processor and some ram , nothing special. The idea of the 499$ pricetag is probably the same reason some people launch games with higher tags then reduce : to make more money from idiot fanboys.Unfortunately , Halo has also...

Wild Monkeyman ape sasquatch goes bananas berserk angry kills manThere are moments in your life where you wish you had your recording videocamera with you. Unlike most of us, some people get really lucky and get some neat footage.Here we see a typical poop-flinging alpha male pouncing on an unsuspecting tourist, only seconds after doing some neat gymnastic work. Just imagine what would have happened if there was no safety glass. Monkeys can rip your face off pretty quickly.

A recent commercial distributed by General Mills' own Cheerios brand has caused a wave of controversy throughout the internet. In a mystical land dominated by lolcats , minecraft fenatics , and pretty much anything else you could imagine , there are all sorts of people participating.Of course, since the internet keeps us all (for the most part) anonymous, many people have slammed racist comments on this commercial(due to the highlight of a mixed race family). And since the Cheerios company can't possibly handle these comments, they have withdrawn commenting from their new commercial.Here is the "controversial video" :As for our own personal input? We don't have one , General Mills and Cheerios don't concern us at all.

Robots will replace workers by 2020It has sparked my interest , in recent days I have visited the local grocery "super-stores" and have found an increasing number of "scan it yourself" registers. These are all automated , fully functional and semi-intelligent cashiers.It made me wonder : "if we went from signing paper to touch pin-pads, what's next?" Rather obviously I can't be positive that the pin-pads and smart-card readers will be ancient history compared to this new-aged concept of fully mechanized cashiers. In fact, a "Trader Joe's" somewhere in New England (I forgot the exact location, sorry) actually has a "scan it yourself" line where all the products are scanned, put on a conveyor, then they are bagged by a machine that separates them by weight, class (eggs for example would be in the "fragile" class) and content , then are bagged accordingly.All you really do is put all your items...

Lets be honest, looking into people's eyes at times is painful. Sometimes it's your boss that makes you clean toilets all day for minimum wage. Sometimes it's your wife, giving you attitude and yelling at you.Luckily, we have discovered a trick that will give whoever you have to deal with the impression that you are showing them respect. This will not require actually looking into their eyes, or even wearing fake eyeball glasses.The trick is to just stare at the tip of the nose! Believe it or not, staring at the tip of the nose is indistinguishable to 100% of people compared to actually eyeballing them in the eyeballs.Now you can pretend to be showing respect , and never show a hint of hatred to whoever you are in contact with! EyeBall

eric spoto liftingHere is something for the records. Eric Spoto makes you look like an absolute wimp. To you, lifting 200 pounds is an achievement. Spoto can lift 772 pounds, that's almost half a ton!This makes us all think of "lifting" in a whole new way. This guy could literally lift about three guys his size without breaking a sweat. And you know what? This is a world record!This guy is truly a hero in his own unique way, but hell, one day I will beat his record :P