Accordingly, a man that lived in Wisconsin just came back from active service duty in Afghanistan. He was shot by an enemy sniper, with some sort of unknown round, the round did not penetrate, and the man was saved by his Kevlar vest. As a type of trophy, the man took the bullet home with him, and early this morning, he was flaunting it to all his friends, accordingly, telling them he "dodged death" All of a sudden, eye witness reports claim the bullet exploded from the rear, and entered the man's lower abdomen. He was later pronounced dead. Police claim the bullet that was fired did not fully discharge  after it was fired on the man. The bullet discharged partially when it was fired (and again when he came home), and thus, this poor man died, having dodged death once. Bullet

It is a sad day today in the ivory coast, as soldiers gather bodes of youths, men and women. Apparently, a large crowd gathered to the town of Abidjan's Plateau. The crowd was excited, watching fireworks, and waiting for the last seconds of the year to end. The crowd was making barbecues, much of which was fish, and lobster. Lots of drinking also took place, mostly coconut rum and chocolate candies were consumed. Children ran around, playing, screaming, eating. And at midnight, the people went mad with happiness, hugging and singing became quite common. People shared this special moment with loved ones and fellow islanders. Following this marvelous celebration, something went awry. Everyone began to run home, like a stampede of gazelle , for no apparent reason, perhaps there was a lion on the prowl. What followed was horrific. Dust, and debris were left lingering in the air for half an...

The former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez will be put behind bars today with no possibility of parole. The 25 year old football star has been charged with the aggravated first degree murder of amateur footballer Odin Lloyd.According to the jury, without a doubt, Hernandez acted out with great cruelty against Lloyd when executing him over an apparent drug-related incident. Hernandez’s mother and young wife were seen weeping at the jury’s conviction of Hernandez. It is unfortunate, but this means Hernandez will age and die in prison. On a side note, Hernandez’s lawyer already started making his appeal before the conviction. Although there is little doubt that any appeal will also end in futility.

A Japanese man was indicted today on an incident that took place back in December of 2013. Allegedly, this man stole over $200,000 worth of cash and jewels. What is even more bizarre is that this individual did not spend a penny of the money on himself. Instead, sources tell us that this man spent all the stolen money on fresh fish and chicken for his 23 cats. However, he was also noted to have been feeding around 100 more strayed that lived in his neighborhood with luxurious catfoods (all organic of course). Although the court had no ready conviction, we can all rest assured this man is the “Robin Hood" of cats. We applaud his devotion to cats and hope that the Japanese government can grant him amnesty.   Kittehs

Today we have learned that two brothers who were indicated as "perpetrators" in the January 7th Paris massacre that left 11 dead have been put to justice. Justiciers , apparently, armed with sniper rifles located the two men (only indicted with the last names "Kouachi")  barred in a real-estate company several miles away from the original scene of the crime.  The men apparently took hostages and refused to surrender. Early in the morning ,however, the two men stormed out of the building for some reason and opened fire on police. Justiciers above armed with sniper rifles quickly managed to take them out and averted any additional collateral damage. A great evil was vanquished from Paris today , but two more suspects remain at large. Additionally, a great many now feel that the stability of muslim relations throughout the world have been undermined. The world must now begin the long road towards...

Three individuals stormed a French newspaper facility and slaughtered innocent people inside early this morning. The attack that made global headlines again outlines the fragile imbalance between national security and domestic “home grown” terror.Three barbarians armed with semi-automatic rifles and shotguns simply stepped into this location and opened fire. Eyewitnesses noted that these barbaric and deranged individuals were uttering religious phrases as they killed unarmed men and women alike… like the nasty and worthless coward swine they are. Unsurprisingly, they were Islamic. According to investigators, the newspaper recently ridiculed some leader of an Islamic insurgency (not the prophet Mohammed as originally thought). Thus, all the individuals within this organization became the targets of the hateful and shameful act we witnessed today. French officials are both shocked and disgusted by this act of violence (as we all are). Paris, in particular, has been put under high-alert until further notice. The individuals are...

It might sound utterly absurd, but early today, a Russian cargo ship arrived in Syria carrying troops and weapons. We can’t say for sure what they intend to do there other than safeguard their major seaport. Furthermore, China is refusing pleas by the UN to come in and sort out the chaos. As people that are only speculating, it looks like a repeat of Vietnam-Iraq and Afghanistan -Syria. Tensions are certainly on the rise, despite lack of coverage by our news broadcasters, there is an uneasy feeling throughout the world, an eerie gathering tempest is just mobilizing to erupt in a violent storm of fire.

You heard it right an Oregon man was trying to save some poor mouse from a cat's mouth and the mouse bit him. Hell, he was probably pretty smart because the cat also bit him (double penetration). And go figure, the man gets the 200 year old bubonic plague! All we can say about this is that clearly this man is a noob when it comes to handling a wild mouse (which is the deadliest animal on earth).Should you be scared? Well, considering the fact that 74% of Europe was destroyed by the plague, there is reason for you to believe that this could be an apocalyptic virus. So you should definitely be very afraid.

Early this morning, the three million residents of Wahun, China arose to a grizzly site: the entire city had been engulfed in a yellow fog cloud. As people flee the city, young and old are asked to wear gas-masks and stay inside ventilated units. Chinese officials claim that the cloud was caused by farmers burning wheat (ha, because we have totally seen that happen). External references are pointing to a potential chemical plant melt-down. Anyways here is a video of the horrendous site: We have reason to believe that this might be a chemical explosion near the city.China has politely asked us to stop talking about this matter. Dearest apologies, we respect china and hope they can deal with this in a professional matter.

Following the initial outbreak of Ebola, the first case of Ebola has been diagnosed in a patient flying from Liberia to Texas.The patient allegedly experienced some of the known symptoms of the ebola virus and contacted health officials for treatment. Although the victim did not suspect the diagnosis to be ebola, doctors have confirmed that it is, unfortunately, the first case of ebola in the United States from the past four decades.The victim has been noted to be in isolation in a hospital in Texas. Earlier this week, hospital authorities noted that the victim is in “critical condition”. However, there are some positive turns in the patient’s condition and death is not 100% certain. Hospital workers have taken severe precautions to prevent the spread of the deadly virus, however, it has been noted that the patient (who came in undiagnosed) might have infected hundreds of people [unknowingly].A similar incident was observed...

A new report coming in from the “New Iraq” has posed some very dramatic and concerning statements. Apparently, following the seizure of land around the city of Mosul and surrounding areas, mass genocides have taken place.Although there were interventions by U.S. planes which apparently suppressed some of the insurgents, fresh reports of mass killings involving religious minorities (Yazidi) have surfaced.Apparently, Yazidi individuals are deemed “devious” and are associated with the worship of a fallen angel (satan). These people have subsequently been killed in mass executions.Regardless, the mass killings that have taken place late yesterday and early today cannot be justified. There has been no formal “call to action” by the United States or any of her allies in regards to this growing crisis. The best solution, claimed by allied commanders, is to lend indirect support and supplies.We will continue to report on this situation as it progresses.

An Ebola outbreak has descended upon humanity since early last month. The appalling rate of this viral epidemic has afflicted over 1,000 people. As of today, an estimated 3 people have died and many others are noted to be on the “verge of death”.A Minnesota man of Liberian origin was the first known victim of the Ebola outbreak. Sawyer was allegedly on a business trip to Nigeria when he was struck by the virus. Sawyer was isolated for over 24 hours by Nigerian nurses before they realized that he was, indeed, positive for the rare Ebola virus. Sawyer would later die in the hospital due to the Ebola affliction.In more recent days, the nurse that had been tasked to treat sawyer became the third victim of the Ebola outbreak. Regardless of the fact that she was diagnosed early, medical treatment failed her and she died quickly.The second documented death was a...

A recent mudslide on Mount Baldy,California spurred by intense thunderstorms, has left one man dead and over 2,500 other stranded.The devastation was allegedly caused by excessive rainfall which contributed to the collapse of ledges on high mountains and subsequently a large flow of wet mud. The event took place over a 16 hour period and an unknown number of people lay dead in its ruin. Only one body was found and positively identified as 48-year old Joo Hwan Lee. His body was found in a flooded creek inside of a vehicle.The devastation, unfortunately, took place in an area frequented by many people. A recent report stated that 5 people and one dog were air-lifted out of the mud and sent to a local hospital to treat their injuries.We will have more on this subject as we receive more information.

Following the withdrawal of all U.N. personnel from Iraq, there have been terrible consequences. In an almost reminiscent occurrence to what took place In Vietnam, it can be clearly observed that the enemy that the United States came to fight was never defeated. In fact, much like Vietnam, they simply decided to lay below the radar until all foreign troops moved out.Starting early this month and unceasingly continuing, the country has become the forefront of yet another bloody and calculated turmoil. Those “Islamic extremists” the U.N. fought so hard to detain have finally let themselves flow like water from a destroyed dam. Worse yet, the force of these organized attackers is overwhelming local authorities in the area which were set up to keep order.In cities like Mosul, these extremists have taken over almost completely. Typically, these takeovers are followed by massacres and the destruction of landmarks.Most famously, these extremists recently converged...

A swift call to end all engagements has been drawn up and slammed at Israel by the United Nations. This comes following a series of bombardments and ground invasions by Israel into Gaza.Allegedly, many of these attacks are targeting civilians rather than Hamas (some radical Islamic group) members.Israeli mediums to the U.N. have claimed that these efforts are already showing results including the destruction of Hamas missile sites.Israeli politicians are also claiming that four soldiers have been killed since the invasion began two days ago.Israeli politicians and leaders made promises earlier today to avenge the deaths of their comrades. But at what price?The U.N. would generally not interfere in a crisis unless there was already a significant incline towards a potential loss. In other words something has already happened to get the U.N’s attention.Regardless of the U.N.’s pleas for a more diplomatic mediation, Israel is still continuing the bombing and border...

In an act not seen since the last Iraq war, Israel has quite literally marched armored columns into Palestine. This action was the successor to a series of bombardments along prominent targets in the Palestine area. According to Peter Lerner, Lieutenant Colonel, the strategic bombardments took place to thwart Hamas activity and redundant rocket raids on the Israeli border.The targets noted by the defense ministry of Palestine were evacuated prior to the bombardment. As a direct result, only seven people were injured during the entire operation and zero casualties were reported.The operation nicknamed “Operation Edge” was basically a showing of teeth to any Hamas member or radical Palestinian. It basically told them that if they attack or plot to attack Israel, they will be counter-attacked.This comes only shortly after several severe attacks noted in the region by the defense ministry of Israel. No comments were directly made by the leaders of...

A 44 year old man was killed late yesterday after taking a full-blown firework blast to the chest. Eyewitnesses report that the man, 44 year old Mahir Aburouman was setting up some fireworks for a 4th of July celebration. A friend that was nearby noted that this was routine and that Aburouman had done this many times in the past. However, this time the firework struck right into Abourman shortly after the fuse blew.Abourman’s friend noted that following the blast he went up to his friend and put a pillow under his head. Abourman’s friend (55 year old Ron Mohlman) stated that he kept telling Abourman to keep his eyes open.However, despite Mohlman’s valiant efforts to keep his friend alive, Abourman lost consciousness and stopped breathing. Before authorities could arrive, Abourman’s pulse was gone. Abourman’s family and friends describe him as an energetic family man that cared deeply for his two...

Early Tuesday, at 4:30 am, a car in the vicinity of Morrissey Boulevard skid off a bridge and hit the abutment. The two young men thought to have been under the influence of alcohol are confirmed to have been killed on impact. The young woman was confirmed dead shortly after being transported to the Boston medical center. No names have been released yet by authorities. The accident took place in a segment of the bridge with a fall more than 30 feet high. The burning wrecks of the vehicle were recovered by emergency personnel. For some reason, the vehicle never caught fire. This is a photo courtesy of the Boston Globe

Gunman's Vehicle 22 year old self-proclaimed “alpha male” Eliot Rodger (son of the director of the Hunger Games) has committed a disturbing and disgraceful act today.  Rodger , after posting a disturbing YouTube video vowing to take pleasure in the slaughter of those that shunned him , has killed six people and injured up to six more.Rodger allegedly stabbed three men at his home – somehow managing to kill them all. Then, Rodger went to the University Of California and gunned down two women.Rodger finished his rampage by shooting another male and ramming his black BMW into a car, injuring a family of 4 people.  Upon retrieval by police, the body of Rodger was noted to have a bullet hole which obviously meant that he shot himself in his car. Rodger’s actions were claimed to be on a basis of inferiority. Rodger stated that he would slaughter those he felt were...

When Chris Dorner began killing cops , we sort of made the mistake of telling you that it could possibly be justified. So now we will give you the honest final analysis. Chris DornerLets begin with a bit of history:First, Chris Dorner went to the navy, where he failed to stack up. He was such an awful cadet, that he was booted from the navy. What could have spawned this? We don't really have the exact reason, only that he wasn't "proper for this field of action".Following Dorner's dismissal from the navy,  he lived jobless for about one year, until he decided to go into the only place that would take him ,since he never attended college.Dorner took basic police training, and was probably hired through the military mass hire and education plan, implemented in the 1980's.Now, we hear that Dorner did his job in a mediocre and lazy fashion since he...