A suicide bomber working for the "liberation army" of suicide bombers, fighting against the "evil government" of Syria has killed thirty men and fifty bystanders today. This is just another of what appears to be "the most affective" method of forcing the current president of Syria to step down.So, as you can now see, these peaceful people wage a peaceful protest against a power mongering demagogue, whom has spoken for the first time in six months today, stating "we will not negotiate with terrorists". This is very very bad, because this man is so evil that he is quoting president GW bush, how shocking. Another day of peaceful protests in SyriaHonestly people, grow the F*** up, the press has brainwashed you into thinking that the opposition is actually a body of civilian figures, all looking for a peaceful end to a now prolonged civil war. We should neither sympathize with these...

I was abducted by aliens? They placed probes and pieces of metal in my brain, liver, kidneys and spine! What can I do now!? We remove everything they put in! Many people begin to feel helpless after an alien abduction. All hopes of a normal life, existence or having children suddenly disappear. The worst part of it all is that nobody believes you, right? You may be asking yourself "where can I go?" "are there people that can help me?" "where the f^&$$ do I go to get all the implants removed?" . Well, The Order Of The Iron Phoenix has partnered with psychologists, numerologists, general practitioners and chemists to bring you the very best in alien probe removal and moral support! We will personally help you cope through comprehensive "man to man" talk, psychological testing and evaluation (we wont make you eat anything, you're not insane, people get abducted by...

It has come to our attention that yet another year has gone by, and as usual, it is almost time to do our dreaded tax returns. This is difficult for some of us, and it's rather time consuming. TurboTaxLuckily, TurboTax is here to help us! TurboTax makes it easy to simply input your data for the year, click a button, and have everything ready to go in minutes. TurboTax will also do it's best (if it's not the free edition) to help give you all the savings and returns you personally deserve.So, if you don't quite understand how to file taxes, don't want to waste thousands of minutes looking through paperwork, don't want to go to jail for tax evasion, don't want to hire a tax return firm to do this for you, you can use TurboTax to "do it yourself" fast, easy affordable! What do you possibly have to lose?Since...

SimCity Beta open!Do you want to become a new simcity beta tester? Well you are in luck! We have a few hundred keys available for the few lucky people that can actually get into the game before launch.The simcity beta is now open for residents of north America! Try your luck today! Enter here https://www.simcity.com/en_US/beta/info ! Your chances of being picked are great since this was announced today! Good luck and have fun!

Lance ArmstrongLance Armstrong has been forced to give up bronze his medals following his not so shocking confession of "doping" prior to the marijuana incident that forced the surrender of his gold and silver medals. The international community, and heads of fair sport and "doping" have concurred that Mr shamed Armstrong  should surrender all medals, even minor bronze ones.Lance Armstrong, as we have stated before, has literally lost all hopes of ever competing again, even though he beat cancer, he could not beat the all-powerful bliss of cannibus.Lance Armstrong forced to give up bronze medals? Indeed! Armstrong can't even have a bronze medal any more. What in the h3ll was he thinking, everyone knows dope shows up in random drug tests :facepalm:  

Gun ControlGun Control: How about this ladies and gentlemen, how about before one purchases a firearm, they have to pay for a background check (59$ US -gangbangers will have less weapons and ammo-)? Let's also have something like a "renewal fee" this would be a 59$ fee at the end of the year for a 30 minute talk with a psychiatrist, just to assess if the person is dangerous. Furthermore people with birth defects of the mind such as depression, autism and bipolar disorder should never be issued firearms in the first place ( a background check should reveal the presence of these diagnosis and automatically disqualify the applicant from being allowed to purchase a gun? Households with known "diagnosed" will be rejected the right to have a firearm issued unless there is evidence that the person stated as "undesirably/diagnosed" is eitherA) Sent to  treatment center for the duration of their...

French intervention in Mali is immanent! French Eurofighter Jets brace up for strategic bombardment of enemy positionsThe first ever socialist president of France ,Francois Hollande, was backed by popular opinion in his crusade against Islamic insurgents in Mali. Over two thirds of the country has taken a firm stance against international terrorism, and the dissent into anarchy on the former French colony will not be tolerated by the international community.Ironically, the French were the only nation that by popular vote decided not to intervene in Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia. French diplomatic ministers stated:As with any other country that is overrun by militaristic extremists, the people will suffer severe oppression. Once the country is fully under insurgent control, the leaders will begin to look "onwards". This would directly threaten our (France) interests in neighboring Niger , which is rich in Uranium. As history has shown so well, there will be a domino...

Following the return of president Barrack Obama , the state of Texas had over 100,000 people sign a petition for secession. Today this petition was denied, forbidding Texas from becoming an independent country, as it was for so long from 1600-1800.As we have told you before, many have warned of southern dissent and will to secede once again into a neo-confederacy.  This has been foretold by many preachers, businessmen and prominent politicians of Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico. It appears that the south is once again dissatisfied with the way things are being done in this country. Although we do applaud the lack of violence, we see it is futile to attempt to become a sovereign nation. Regardless of how large and resource rich Texas is, it has been in our country for well over a century now. Texas deniedThe following statement was released by the white house, and courtesy of news...

Ok our dear readers let's see what our new logo for 2012 will be (note all are trademarked).In the first half of 2012, our logo looked like this: 2012a The Order Of The Iron PhoenixIn the second half of 2012, we decided to go smaller and more simple, so we got this 2012 b  The Order Of The Iron PhoenixNow what you have all been waiting for , our newest logo for 2013 has now arrived! And it's right here! : The Order Of The Iron PhoenixMaybe it got a bit distorted there, but it looks great on a black background, as we designed. Cheers and we hope to see you here often!

The great feasts in celebration of the birth of Christ Jesus and the festival of the coming of yet another year (twenty thirteen in the year of our lord and savior Christ Jesus) are behind us now. Today, we removed the snow, and once again the Facebook style chat. Furthermore, we want you all to freely use our services at your leisure. We hope to have a wonderful year with all of you, better than that of last. :)  

The newest games to the Pokemon franchise have been announced for the new Nintendo handhold superplatform the 3-ds. This game will include over 100 new Pokemon, new playable characters, and -finally- the ability to see your Pokemon duke it out in 3-d!The three starter Pokemon in Pokemon x and y have been shown in the video below.A new adventure will await you, and a new era of pokemon will soon begin. You can also find Nintendo pre-released beta roms somewhere, we don't remember where, but they did this for Pokemon black and white 2 before release as well.

Nitroglycerin stolenArmed men off the coast of India have been filmed boarding a Cyanide and Nitroglycerin Berth carrier. The men stole 500 tons of these chemicals, one of which is a chemical used to commit murder because it mimics human heart failure, the other used in making explosives, fertilizers and shampoos (rare).The men cannot be identified, and there is no understanding why they took these hazardous materials, but these pirates clearly don't intend to do anything noble with these hazardous , toxic substances.

Helicopter destroys enemy piratesAn attack on the third of January 2013 has prompted a universal defense helicopter to take aggressive action in thwarting the pirates' sinister plans. What we know is a vessel, marked with French oil marks , was traveling about 30 miles off the coast of Somalia. At about 14:30 , a unnaturally large 1960's style fishing vessel approached the French vessel at full speed.The French vessel responded accordingly, as it had a safety anti-pirate team on-board. Warning shots were fired once, the enemy defied and rushed boldly. A flare and audible warnings in French, Somali and Arabic were given, still the boat continued to approach.At one point the defense team could take no more, shots were fired to maim or cripple the oncoming vessel. Shockingly, the men on board the enemy pirate Vessel returned fire , using live rpg rounds, ak-47 and Isreali galil-arm rifles.The firefight became so...

Giant Squid foundHere we were all thinking "the giant squid is a myth" , "giant squids only exist in our imaginations" , "giant squids cant exist because I have never seen one" , well today a Japanese crew of scientist caught the monster in action.The giant squid has finally been observed in it's organic habitat, and heck, it acts like most other squids ,  trying to kill anything in reach with it's bony beak.We are very happy to see that such a majestic, fearsome animal does exist, and we hope to have the honor of reporting on it's existence,feeding patters, habitat, and all the good stuff in the future.

lottery winner killedAfter returning from Saudi Arabia, Urooj Khan bought a generic scratch ticket just to give it a try. To his surprise, he won one million dollars, which even today, is a hefty sum.But just one day before he cashed in his winnings, police found the body of Khan, foaming at the mouth, dead.As with any other inexplicable death, an autopsy was done. Men of the trade stated he had succumb to "natural causes". Which of course is strange since police found cantines of cyanide all around his house.Police have stated that "this was not natural" and that " there is probably a family member around that poisoned Khan with the intent to reap his earnings".Autopsy specialists have since withdrawn the "natural death" statement, concluding that this is indeed an act of homicide, and why not? The intentions (lottery ticket money) seem to be missing.Police will be continuing their research...

Ok, so a few years back I remember reading about some study that absolutely peaked my interest.  A dear friend of mine and I had a decent conversation a few days ago about how his widowed mother needed a companion. We both decided a dog would be perfect, save the amount of maintenance , a dog has been known to be an excellent companion to the human. But I decided to explain to him about a documentary I saw back in 2003 on using dogs as medicine. Animal Healing Powers! Background So in 2001, a clinic in Canada had a patient (let's call him Jim). This patient was around 73 or so, and he had a cardiogram done to see his status (because just looking at the heart, you can tell a person's current health status). The man's heart was abysmal, to the point where 21st century medical experts had to...

Mouse MouseOk, so a smart mouse decides to pay for his own lunch. It's rather odd watching this with that picture above, isn't it?

Ever wonder who goes under the doorcracks and collects your grandmother's fine tapestries? Well check it out!

KetchupIn a lonely Subway franchise located within a Walmart superstore in Orlando,Florida, there lay a feud today. A man named  Luis Martinez approached the clerk/cashier/cook named Lawrence Ordone. Martinez ordered a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich with ketchup. Ordone responded by explaining that they "didn't have any moar ketchap" , at which point Martinez asked "why?". Ordone had enough, he threw a chair and lunged at Martinez , telling him to "fight like a man". Instead, Martinez called the police and Ordone was fired from subway. Ordone remains convinced that he was correct , as does Martinez. This is truly bizarre.

Phoenixwiki has been cleansed after about 18 hours of nonstop work, it has finally become usable! Furthermore, facebook style chat and chatroom will temporarily be disabled to make the website run much faster. We will enable it and develop it like crazy if we can make enough money to support our own server (1000$+/year). Now, we can only ask you to keep us alive by inviting people to join us, and liking us on facebook+twitter. The reason for this is because the faster we get ourselves out there, the more money we can potentially make, and the better we can make this website. Delays on the Cthulhu Movie are setting us back months, and this is because working on a full motion animated and 3d capable movie where you are making the characters, soundtrack, scenes (frame by frame) and even doing the voices in a one man team is much more...