Have you ever dreamed of walking your cat on a leash? Do you think it's impossible to get your cat to do anything? Well, in reality it's actually quite simple, just follow our simple instructions and your cat will be the envy of the town for years ahead :) Cat on leashFirst , a cat is a free-spirited, and practically untamable animal, it will never simply allow you to force it to put on a leash. Not to mention, a cat will always find a way to escape a standard neck only collar. For this purpose, use either a specialized "cat harness" , or a harness leash made for tiny dogs, unless you have a savannah cat.Second , get the cat very comfortable with the harness. Begin by placing the harness on the cat without a leash. If your cat does responds negatively by sitting down, looking depressed, pet it under the chin...

Scarborough Fair is one of the few surviving original ballads of old England , Yorkshire province to be exact. It is often hailed as one of the few last remaining "medieval style"  pieces that are standardized.This piece is often performed through the use of an acoustic guitar or an old style "lute" -which is really just a more primitive guitar-. Scarborough Fair (click to enlarge)This man here performs some of the musical piece on a guitar, it's actually pretty good, check it out:No the background on the ballad is reminiscent of Hercules because it is about a single man that must go on impossible tasks , set by his wife rather than father, with the hopes of gaining  prize in the end (in this case it is a dirty old rag).The lyrics are as follows from the revision in 1888: "Are you going to Scarborough Fair?Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme;Remember me...

A California man, apparently mad from god know what shot and murdered a woman. This man , named "Ali" then proceeded to escape his first kill by hijacking a car , sparing one person. Police gaze down following motorist rampage that leaves 3 deadAli then , apparently, went berserk. He carjacked a retired old man, executing him on sight, and shot and killed 2 other motorists, carjacking and injuring people with his "twelve gage shotgun" for about four hours, until finally, police caught up with him.And what did this "Ali" do? Well, like the madman Chris Dorner , Ali shot and killed himself.The man has not had a criminal record, but appears to be an abuser or user of drugs. Perhaps he took some drugs, bludgeoned a woman to death, ran out, took a car, took more drugs (probably bath salts) , and killed some people, then killing himself in anger and...

Here is the suspect, arrested for lewdnessA hudson man stands trial this morning following an incident where he went through a WESTBOROUGH, Ma Dunkin Donuts drive-through , wearing only a leather jacket to hide his manliness. After ordering a coffee, he left without paying.The same man came through again  , this time completely naked. This same guy then sped off , and went to a closed McDonalds, where he began masturbating. Police tackled him out of his car, and indited him on charges of lewdness.He will face the court early this morning, may god have mercy on his soul. Poor sap, just wanted to whip the "d" out in public. Too bad this is 'Murica.He will forever be remembered as "the epic Dunkin Donuts Fapper". 

It is the most stunning thing , in recent years, the unstoppable German industrial might has never produced anything of abysmal quality. Today, he automotive giant , and industry leader of entry-level luxury BMW has recalled almost 600,000 vehicles from the US and Canada due to faulty wiring.These are mostly models from 2009-2012 , and all of it is due to an attempt to cut costs by using interchangeable parts between models. This attempt at American style standardization has killed the ,now known myth, of German industrial quality invincibility.Although time and time again, German cars have been the best, perhaps the entire world is going to s$%^ , using the concept of interchangeability and mass production. In our humble opinion, quality is always triumphant over quantity. BMW recall

Mindy McCready , country singer and star has been found with a single, probably self inflicted, gunshot under the chin. The coroners see this as without a doubt, a suicide.Mindy has had a rough time following the apparent suicide of here husband. Furthermore, she has had a troubled childhood, and suffered various drug addictions. With an unfortunately addictive personality, she has failed to remember that she now leaves two young children without parents.Mindy McCready was actually recently reported to have tried to kidnap one of her children, under the custody of her own mother. It is an unfortunate , and dreary thing, but it happens -_- Mindy McCready suicide at age 37

Kindly press "ctrl +f" to find the one you are looking for :) I are roman catA:abbas abbatis : father /abbot.abbatia : abbey, monastery.abduco : to lead, or take away/ detach, withdraw.abeo : to go away, retire /depart from life, die.abeo : to digress / change / vanish, disappear.abscido : to cut off, to separate, take away.absconditus : hidden, concealed.absens, absentis : (adj.) absent, missing, away, gone.absorbeo : to swallow, gulp down, carry away, engross.absque : (+ abl.) without.abstergo : to wipe off, clean away.absum : to be absent, be away, be missing.abundans : abundant, overflowing, abounding in.abundantia : abundance, bounty, plentyabutor : to make full use of, to abuse.abutor : to use abusive language / use a word incorrectly.ac : =atque andaccedo : to approach, come near /(things) to be added.accendo : to kindle, illuminate, inflame.acceptus : welcome, pleasant, agreeable.accipio : to consider oneself indebted, receive, learn, take.accommodo : to...

When Chris Dorner began killing cops , we sort of made the mistake of telling you that it could possibly be justified. So now we will give you the honest final analysis. Chris DornerLets begin with a bit of history:First, Chris Dorner went to the navy, where he failed to stack up. He was such an awful cadet, that he was booted from the navy. What could have spawned this? We don't really have the exact reason, only that he wasn't "proper for this field of action".Following Dorner's dismissal from the navy,  he lived jobless for about one year, until he decided to go into the only place that would take him ,since he never attended college.Dorner took basic police training, and was probably hired through the military mass hire and education plan, implemented in the 1980's.Now, we hear that Dorner did his job in a mediocre and lazy fashion since he...

When Chris Dorner began killing cops , we sort of made the mistake of telling you that it could possibly be justified. So now we will give you the honest final analysis. Chris DornerLets begin with a bit of history:First, Chris Dorner went to the navy, where he failed to stack up. He was such an awful cadet, that he was booted from the navy. What could have spawned this? We don't really have the exact reason, only that he wasn't "proper for this field of action".Following Dorner's dismissal from the navy,  he lived jobless for about one year, until he decided to go into the only place that would take him ,since he never attended college.Dorner took basic police training, and was probably hired through the military mass hire and education plan, implemented in the 1980's.Now, we hear that Dorner did his job in a mediocre and lazy fashion since he...

First of all, I will note that I am doing this as a freaking favor to all of you. I just wrote this article in notepad, because I was going to write it on phoenixanswers , but I decided due to the importance of this information, this would be a better place to put it.Also note that mother f#$%^ing windows freaking restarted with a f***ing "system update" right when I was about to post my huge, detail ridden article on this wonderful trick here.  It prompted me to save it, I clicked "save" , but I might have been too late. No I have to spend another couple of bloody minutes trying to f****ing remember what I even wrote. I wouldnt lift a paw to help youLets start at the basics. You have your laptop, one day it's working, the next day you get a glitchy screen, all of a sudden it...

Have you ever wondered how people make their cats sit in corners, sobbing for long hours? Well the secret is to just put something on the cat. It can be a towel, a piece of tape, or anything the cat might find difficult to remove on it's own. Crown For CatFor our purposes, we will tell you that cats , unlike dogs, are free animals, anything that wouldn't be on them in nature will cause them to get depressed. Anyways, it's not so much depression as much as it is a moment your cat takes to plot it's revenge :)So for our purposes today, we will use a crown :) For 20.00$(US) , you can give your cat an adorably cute crown! At the same time, your cat will secretly begin to plot your demise, enjoy all those pictures you take and post on icanhascheezurger , because although they will be...

In what appears to be another bizarre incident, about 12 armed men boarded a ship that was about 4 miles off the coast of Victoria Beach, Lagos, Nigeria. The pirates came through the crew compartment, catching the two man ship completely by surprise. Stolen CoffeeThe captain and his cabin-boy were taken to a freezer below deck and gagged.  The captain was savagely kicked around, but the cabin boy reported no physical abuse.The twelve men moved to the cargo department of the ship, replacing the cargo of home-grown coffee beans with empty boxes.The men sped off taking about 1/4 of the cargo. A patrol boat mounted the ship three hours later, apparently due to a lack of "signal response".The captain and cabin boy were found in the freezer compartment a few hours later, both seem to be completely fine. All naval defense patrols have promised to "amp up" security procedures against small...

Adang Bay, Indonesia early yesterday. About four men , armed with "kukris" -a Philippine machete also used to cut wood- , boarded a wool carrying ship. The crew was intimidated, told to submit or "limbs would be amputated". Adang Bay, Indonesia pirates loot wool shipThe crew, adamantly, rushed as one, spreading in all directions. Since the pirates lacked any real "ranged" weapons , the crew did the zebra trick and gave themselves ample time to pull the emergency/ distress alarm.When authorities in the area arrived, most of the wool was missing, all manufactured goods were either damaged or missing, and the ship was in utter disorder. Luckily, all the crew survived unharmed. Indonesian authorities will continue a manhunt for the pirates, although that will probably be futile.

Pope Benedict , the long time owner of the coveted title "Pope" has decided to step down, he even set the date to February 28t. The reason? Benedict has properly identified his failing health as a hindrance, keeping him from performing his duties properly. Pope BenedictThe long time , credible pope has done his duty to the best of his ability. Unfortunately, even the holiest man alive must go through the aging process god has given us :) Call it science if you will, but aging in general just looks like a device to prevent overpopulation -just saying-. Kind of like a "self destruct" command we put on most of our space probes.Enough of that, Benedict will be missed :)Here is a good question , one that probably puzzles us all, "who will be the new crowned prince of the papacy?"

The federal reserve of the United States was hacked early today , following what they called "an exploit in our vendor product" which had subsequently "been patched". The product is now considered "impenetrable" , and all known threats have been treated accordingly. Nobody was made aware of what exactly was compromised, nor should we care , since the reserve stated any information leaked was "negligible". The US Federal Reserve Hacked 

Christopher Jordan Dorner, 33, once a cop for the Los Angeles police department has turned his attention to retribution on his ex colleagues, following termination for reporting "use of excessive force" by a fellow officer.Dorner took himself up on his promise of retribution before 2:00 am this morning. He allegedly shot two police officers, killing one, and maiming the other. Dorner Cop KillerDorner then fled the scene, but his letter has left a grizzly fear leaching from the Los Angeles police department, his words "I will have retribution without mercy on anyone that serves the LA PD be they in uniform or not" send shock waves , and cause popular support for a call to arms against this enraged cop killer.Now we don't know what exactly happened, and corruption does happen , but being violent is not the solution.

Icanhazcheezburger made me a better person, it introduced me to the lolcats , rare cats that can't help but bring a smile to anyone's face. So I will share the best one yet: My favorite lolcat

The United States Postal Service has been hit hard by the advent of technology, such as text messaging, email , epostcards and most of all , those "green" ebills we all love so much. As a result they have struggled like crazy to make quota, and each year it just goes downhill.An answer to this deficit has been established, an unpopular one, but a solution nonetheless. This solution calls for the eradication of delivery on Saturdays, which has been a post delivery day since the advent of this country. Sunday is properly given off in observance of church service, if you are religious. no more mail on SundaysThis is quite unpopular with older people, and especially the postal workers that are getting their hours cut. Although very unpopular with most, it might be the only way to preserve the existence of the us postal service, remember, UPS trucks bring you all...

If we told you that a cat-scan or x-ray of a human brain could tell us whether or not you were evil, you would probably flip a sh!# and also the coffee table in front of you over our heads , it's ok , it is in your nature to prevent discrimination.But today we are serious when we say "evil can be scientifically detected" through what German scientists refer to as "dark spots". Often found not in thieves, or people that kill in crimes of passion (over love) , but in people that kill for pleasure. Dr Gerhard Roth with brainDr. Gerhard Roth, a venerated professor of neurology , and professor of well over 20 years [in service] , has stated that "dark spots" are visible in the brains of all killers, and men that take joy in the torture of innocents (usually humans, but also animals).He sort of went on...

A friendly tug-of war competition at a High School in California has ended in two seniors being shipped on stretchers to a hospital. Accordingly, the rope which was being used was f@#&ing possessed , grabbing onto the students' fingers. When the tug of war came to a climax, the rope snapped, ripping the fingers off both boys. Fingers amputatedThis was literally a gruesome amputaion that tore the fingers off, with a sound resembling that of "tearing wet cloth". At an instant blood and fingers lay everywhere.Both boys - Edith Rodriguez and Pablo Ocegueda - are expected to live, obviously. Doctors have not said how "repairable" the damage is.This is just plain horrible, words cannot describe how sickly ironic this is -_-