How the f*** can you go from gaining weight to making muscle? Is all the hype around “converting fat to muscle” even possible? Muscle itself is a tissue type that constantly feeds on and absorbs calories (whether you are working out or not). While fat simply stores energy until the body is desperate enough to begin eating from these “reserves”.So is there a transition possible in which the fat energy can be absorbed by muscles to produce muscle while shrinking the fat cells (giving you a sculpted physique)? If you have ever seen a professional weight lifter, you might be very surprised that this is not an easy task (as the fat on a weight lifter is very obviously overgrown above their muscle). Coexistence seems almost completely and utterly impossible based on the appearance of these individuals. So how the f*** can someone with a bit of extra luggage turn into...

Human growth hormone or “HGH” for short is an essential amino acid that aids in the production and maintenance of muscles. Without HGH, people can often wonder why the hell they keep exercising and there is quite literally no result.People that do not naturally produce enough HGH turn to protein powders, HGH supplements and even HGH injections (which end up costing them well over 20,000$ per year).You see, if you do not naturally produce enough of this hormone from your pituitary, you can just keep exercising and you will never gain muscle mass.Likewise, using synthetic HGH supplements can be very volatile and dangerous to your own development. For example, a chemical misbalance using synthetic HGH can cause cancer (which is not a fact but rather an example).But what if you could stimulate your pituitary gland to produce more HGH without any negative consequences? Your body already naturally produces this amino acid...

The most major update to ocelot is coming soon. We have remastered the "point system" which will allow all of our users to earn points for activities on this website.The primary (and also the largest) difference between this and some other websites out there is the incentive payment for pageviews. Unlike some places where you are paid to do surveys or are paid to write an article (once) , here you can be paid per impression--meaning recurring,passive commission. This is basically a strategic move to add very high quality content to this website that will rank well , be enjoyable to external users as well as the community, and spur our output production towards a larger scope.The first step will be introducing the store (which we have been working on for well over a year) within the next few weeks. At that point in time, a few starter packages will be...

You might have recently finished an associates program because it was “the cheapest option”. Now you have been seeking jobs for some time and it finally hits you: your degree is completely worthless!Speaking as someone that decided to do just that , my six months of searching for jobs have yielded only high school level positions with nothing paying more than 30,000 / year (in f$%^ing business for god’s sake). And here we were thinking that maybe that filthy college degree that you finished while working full-time would be worth more than a high school diploma. Well you were wrong! – as was I.The associates is actually completely overlooked by hiring managers that post jobs looking for someone with “a college degree”. The general idea is that associate level courses are easy and anything important is entirely overlooked.As an example, I recently applied for [censored]. I went to an interview totally...

The former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez will be put behind bars today with no possibility of parole. The 25 year old football star has been charged with the aggravated first degree murder of amateur footballer Odin Lloyd.According to the jury, without a doubt, Hernandez acted out with great cruelty against Lloyd when executing him over an apparent drug-related incident. Hernandez’s mother and young wife were seen weeping at the jury’s conviction of Hernandez. It is unfortunate, but this means Hernandez will age and die in prison. On a side note, Hernandez’s lawyer already started making his appeal before the conviction. Although there is little doubt that any appeal will also end in futility.

What the actual f%^&? Massachusetts has just introduced a new law that will punish anyone that does not utilize their taillights and headlights whenever their windshield wipers are being used.Of course, there is a practical reason for this. You might have encountered one or two idiots in the middle of a blizzard (one with like half a foot of visibility) driving blind with no lights on. That can obviously lead to the death of an innocent snow-shoveler or a massive car accident with an oncoming vehicle. Likewise in conditions with great amounts of fog and rain, it might be a good idea to have headlights on to extend the line-of-sight.However, although this will increase safety, it is an overall stupid and pointless law. Almost everyone already does this, and the only thing that might happen from such a law would be some poor idiot getting ticketed for not having his headlights...

The second DLC pack for the very popular videogame “Dragonball Xenoverse” has finally been released early this morning. The DLC pack adds 4 new characters Eis Shenron, Nuova Shenron, Towa and Mira , new parallel quests, new story lines and even pan as a teacher (although who the f^&* wants that over omega shenron?)What’s even better is the addition of plenty of extra moves, costumes and Z-souls. Additionally, the level cap is now 85 so even if you have finished the game and tossed it aside, you can still level up 5 more levels (or 15 skill points) with this new addition.The DLC 3 pack will probably also be released within the next two months. According to our personal espionage reports, these will feature a golden Frieza and additional parallel quests.We honestly wish there would just be a pack that would only release all of the characters found in Budokai Tenkiachi...

The Cthulhu Portal was and always will be an integral and vital contribution to what is now and from this day on the uncontested blueprint for the future development of "The Order Of The Iron Phoenix" network. As a hsitorical referance , below is the default description of the project when it was initially release din 2011. "The Cthulhu Portal is a project website that tries to integrate all the basic functionalities of a social network into one large, and luxurious entity." Our work up to now has yielded a roadmap for the alpha development of The Order Of The Iron Pheonix Version 1. This will basically be our projected roadmap for development within the next year. Each update will be noted with a "changelog" and will be numerically noted with a .x . So for example , update 1.1 will be the first major update for version 1 of the...

The New England Patriots pulled off an astoundingly close victory tonight against the Seattle Seahawks in a match that ended with a 28 : 24 score and a very dramatic final quarter (as it seemed that the tide of the game could easily turn the other way). And thus the 2015 superbowl held at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale , Arizona has come to an end. Tonight was a beautiful performance which braught us all (whether we won or lost) a very enjoyable Sunday night. Congratulations to the New England Patriots on our behalf and may they have a safe journey back home to celebrate their well-earned victory.

“And the evening and the morning were the fifth day. And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping things, and beasts of the earth after his kind: and it was so.” Genesis 1:23-1:25In a practically biblical chain of events, a Florida cat has been resurrected from the dead five days following its burial.The cat, now 24 months old, had been struck by a vehicle earlier last week. Unfortunately, the owner of the cat found his feline companion drenched in a pool of blood in the middle of the street. The owner was so distraught at the death of his favorite cat that he could not bear to bury it (due to emotional circumstances). As such, the owner kindly asked his neighbor, whom is a construction worker, to bury the cat in his stead.The owner stood a fair distance from the burial as...

We would like to wish you all a happy 2015. We hope your 2015 will be filled with joy and pleasure as our website continues to evolve! On a side note, the merger between "The Order Of The Iron Phoenix" and "The Cthulhu Portal" is actually taking longer than anticipated.  Whenever this is complete, we hope to finally exit our "alpha phase" and begin marketing this website for the masses. Thank you all for being with us :)

Today we have learned that two brothers who were indicated as "perpetrators" in the January 7th Paris massacre that left 11 dead have been put to justice. Justiciers , apparently, armed with sniper rifles located the two men (only indicted with the last names "Kouachi")  barred in a real-estate company several miles away from the original scene of the crime.  The men apparently took hostages and refused to surrender. Early in the morning ,however, the two men stormed out of the building for some reason and opened fire on police. Justiciers above armed with sniper rifles quickly managed to take them out and averted any additional collateral damage. A great evil was vanquished from Paris today , but two more suspects remain at large. Additionally, a great many now feel that the stability of muslim relations throughout the world have been undermined. The world must now begin the long road towards...

Three individuals stormed a French newspaper facility and slaughtered innocent people inside early this morning. The attack that made global headlines again outlines the fragile imbalance between national security and domestic “home grown” terror.Three barbarians armed with semi-automatic rifles and shotguns simply stepped into this location and opened fire. Eyewitnesses noted that these barbaric and deranged individuals were uttering religious phrases as they killed unarmed men and women alike… like the nasty and worthless coward swine they are. Unsurprisingly, they were Islamic. According to investigators, the newspaper recently ridiculed some leader of an Islamic insurgency (not the prophet Mohammed as originally thought). Thus, all the individuals within this organization became the targets of the hateful and shameful act we witnessed today. French officials are both shocked and disgusted by this act of violence (as we all are). Paris, in particular, has been put under high-alert until further notice. The individuals are...

Did you know that by keeping your Christmas tree in a base of water and sugar , you can extend it's life by up to one month? Not to mention this will save you all the cleaning you have to always go through whenever the tree starts to shed and turn brown.

A boiling lake of fire has appeared near Nyamuragira Mountain in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The lake has been forming for an extended period of time (according to scientific records). However, early yesterday, the ground finally gave way and a stream of bottomless lava rose to the surface.Amid the cloud of nauseous and deadly gas, some images were taken of the lake. These images yielded a surprisingly beautiful jet of molten lava.Scientists are concerned that even though this lake might be temporary, eventually a lake of fire will permanently preside in the region. Scientists believe that (since this is not the first or final lake of fire) that these lakes will continue to spawn over extended periods of time. Some theorize that this can even be a precursor to the explosion of Mount Nyamuragira.The area around the mountain is relatively unpopulated, however there are regions within the blast radius that...

The Cthulhu Portal and The Order Of The Iron Phoenix would like to thank everyone that has contributed to this (now three year old) project. We wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.In addition to your thanksgiving turkey, you will also find a coupon in your mailbox which will grant you 3,000 Cthulhu Points when redeemed (each code is individual and cannot be used more than once). Thank You, The Cthulhu Portal and The Order Of The Iron Phoenix Team

When considering the use of “beauty products” on males, many actions and products are still relatively taboo. For example, it is relatively not considered culturally acceptable for men to wear make-up (however it was acceptable in the 1700s). In these changing times, men are finding more of an opportunity to engage in the use of beauty products (outside of the increasingly expanding homosexual community). When opportunity looms, intelligent entrepreneurs are always there to feast upon these helpless victims. After all, we can often determine trends based on consumers’ buying habits; can we not? Using two separate factors; we can stereotype the type of man that is probably most apt to consume these beauty products. Through these stereotypes, we can create an image of a helpless bait on a reel for these power mongering sharks (product retailers) to feast upon. The first factor we can put into perspective is the demography of...

In commemoration of the upcoming holidays, we have added a few holiday extras around the website. Additionally we will be holding a raffle for “Cthulhu Points” on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Christmas Eve and New Years Eve + Day. The End of the year is fast approaching and the Cthulhu Portal is reaching its third year in existence. We want to thank everyone that has ever visited this website and we wish you a happy holiday season! :) Cheers, The Cthulhu Portal Team

The newest installation of the pokemon franchise has been officially released yesterday. These two games feature a re-introduction of of the Hoenn region which was originally hinted at in pokemon gold and silver and later put into realization in the original ruby and sapphire games. These two new Pokemon games promise to introduce some new concepts as well as the maintenance and re-introduction of old concepts. The games promise to bring back the old flair associated with the Hoenn as well as the introduction of some new unique features like dive battles (we miss dive). Another promising feature is the re-introduction of Pokemon contest. No , we don't mean the nonsense we saw in Diamond and Pearl ; we mean the same-style and feature contests we all know and love in the original Ruby,Sapphire and Emerald games. Are there differences between the two games? The largest difference is obviously whether someone...

The longtime fear of most children might come to realization. That’s right, getting your teeth drilled can actually be deadly! There is a positive correlation associated by the common procedure known as a “root canal” and the onset of various diseases including cancer.Scientific data backed by prominent professor Weston Price (PHD) indicated that (after six years of clinical trials on humans), there is no safe way to perform a root canal. Dr. Weston Price concluded that through killing the nerve which connects the tooth to the gum and simultaneously destroying the blood vessels which root into the tooth (like tree roots) , the body has no ability to combat any bacteria which may find haven between the dead tooth and the nutrient-rich gums. In essence, by performing a root canal, the person is subjecting their body to a host of bacteria which can feed on proteins, carbohydrates and lipids both consumed...